The Black Cauldron

The Black Cauldron — 2

So this is a Disney movie. Or at least you think its supposed to be one, but this is one of the most gruesome Disney movies i have ever seen. Its brutal, has a lot of death in them and frankly it just seems like Disney should never have made this movie. Its garbage even saying all of that.

So this is the typical hero story, and by typical i mean just that, typical. Boy starts off as a farmer, something happens and he must leave home to ‘become a great warrior’ but really the kids just the biggest pansy i have ever seen in any movie. Throughout the whole movie he just stays the exact same. He doesn’t grow a pair, he doesn’t really do anything at all to show that hes grown throughout the entire movie, at the end hes still the same whiny boy.

None of the characters are relate-able in any way. There are quite a few, and not a single one of them seem to have any depth whatsoever. Not the big bad evil king skeleton guy (who resembles Skeletor from He-Man almost to a scary degree). It seems like whoever was in charge of the story here just fucked it up and had to re-write it in like 3 days is what it seems like.

Then there’s a pig who can see the future by drowning it. I kid you not. These people hypnotize a pig, its head drops into water and then all of the sudden you can see the future. Crazy. And then they loose the pig like 4-6 odd amount of times throughout the movie and somehow whenever they need the pig for a plot device, BAM! its there.

This movie also had some of the largest amount of continuity errors I have ever seen in a movie that I cannot list them all( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088814/goofs and this is only a few of them, I caught a lot more than what was listed here).
And the other thing that royally pissed me off during the movie was the little furry weird guy that you see in the bottom right hand corner of the picture here. I wanted to kill him from the moment I saw him until the ending. And even after the movie was over and done with I felt that my prey escaped me. I want to kill him that badly.

Disney failed me again in this movie. There is not a single song in it at all, Not one. Well ok, there is background music, but there is not one where the characters are singing in it. Instead this movie replaced singing with undead, brutal amounts of meat being cut in the movie, deaths, etc. Its also the first Disney movie to receive anything higher than a G rating. This one got a PG rating(insert spooky noises here). But even then it was not enough to save the movie.

All in all I could go the rest of my life without seeing this movie again, don’t waste your time on it unless you are incredible bored and you can’t think of something better to do.

Base Score = 4
-1 for bad characters
+1 for Skeletor look-alike
+1 for animal cruelty
-1 for massive amount of continuity errors
-1 for poping in plot devices when they were needed
-1 for the stupid furry guy
-1 for no singing
+1 for an awesome sword.
= 2/10

Last updated: 2010-01-12 02:02:31 by Tolll