Edges of Darkness

Zombies and great cover art suckered me in this time, and probably will many more. Knowing this was a indie project I was willing to cut is some slack, but “Edge of Darkness” is a disappointment no matter how you look at it. Actually, that’s not the right word, nor is failure. Abomination would be more like it.

“Edges of Darkness” tries to play serious and be a drama, with zombies… and that’s just the beginning of a fail of epic proportions. I am gonna spoil the whole story here so you can just read it and have a couple of laughs without having to sit through this hell.

The story takes place in the real and the imaginary world of a writer named Dean, and his wife Dana. You see, while the zombie outbreak outside rages Dean is writing a story. He is so consumed by his work that he ignores his wife who starts making friends with zombies and bitches all day. Dean also mail orders a new CPU for his computer. I guess Amazon.com also works in zombie infested post-apocalyptic world. It turns out this is some kind of a new experimental CPU that is possessed and alive and starts feeding on organic matter. He quickly devours a cactus, some mice, Dana and in the end Dean. Shame about the cactus.

In the meantime, what goes on in Dean’s story? There’s Heather, a Lara Croft-like heroine, played by Michelle Rose. She is the one and only bright (and hot) spot in this mess, but not nearly enough to make it bearable. She was just an ordinary girl when her zombified husband ate their baby so she had to pick up her double barrel shotgun laying on top of her Shakespeare book and blast him away. Anyway, she grows into a badass and saves a little boy and his mother. On the other side of town, a band of priests are looking for the Antichrist, who turns out to be that same boy Heather saved. He tells her this whole apocalypse is God’s work, trying to cleanse the world and that he is in fact here to save it because they like the world as it was, corrupt and all evil.

In yet another place, Stan and Stellie are a couple of vampires with a gangsta attitude. They capture a girl, Natalie, to slowly feed on her, but she turns out to be some kind of strange creature with corrupt blood, killing Stan but ends up short in a fight with Stellie.

Stellie goes out and starts killing some “motherfucking zombies”!

- THE END.

Supposedly "Edges of Darkness" was made with a budget of $200 000. Or so I thought until Anonymous here (on the blog) commented that the budget was only 20K, and Wikipedia also says the same so I guess it's true. I apologize for that, and accordingly, it changed my view on "Edges of Darkness". Not by much, though. The rest still stands: the makers should really look at "Gabriel" or "MGS: Philanthropy" (budget: €10 000), to see how it's properly done.

Because this blows, 20K or 200K.

Rating: 2/10

- review by Ventilation Shaft