The Expendables

RATING 4/10

BOTTOM LINE: Although meant to be a homage to 1980s action films, “The Expendables” is a tasteless exercise in violence which has none of the fun of those 80s films while simultaneously wasting an opportunity to create an enjoyable tale with all these iconic action stars, both past and present, in the same film.

THE GOOD: As with so many films, the idea upon which the whole exercise hangs is usually a good one. Stallone leads a cast of iconic action stars, both past and present, in an action film based on a group of mercenaries who find themselves on a mission where more than meets the eye, but it is up to them to deal with it! Some of the action sequences in this film are entertaining, particularly with the personalities driving them, and despite Stallone being the main star and director, he does allow the rest of the cast to shine in parts, particularly Jason Statham who plays his tough partner. Eric Roberts is effective as the two dimensional bad guy; his character is bland, but Roberts manages to infuse him with enough villainy and tough talk that he is fun to watch. Bruce Willis is quite menacing in his cameo and is the only one who seems to fit properly in the film and give a performance that you will remember. “The Expendables” works on these levels if nothing else.

THE BAD: From a narrative perspective, this film is a complete mess. The whole thing barely hangs together, and is designed to find excuses to get to the action. Even the 80s action classics, despite being corny, had strong plots to drive the action, even though they were simple. Aside from Stallone, Staham, and Lundgren, the rest of iconic cast have less than useless roles, particularly Jet Li who keeps getting beaten in every scene, and Steve Austin who is nothing more than a hired thug. Mickey Rourke is perhaps the exception, but his performance is almost out of place in this film, as the oscar-nominated actor actually creates some genuine emotional moments in a few scenes; what’s that doing in a dumb action film? Schwarzenegger’s cameo is somewhat jarring, unnecessary and silly. Those expecting to see Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Willis together in a great scene will be disappointed. The violence in this film is unwarranted. Seeing bad guys not just being shot, but blown apart is not an entertaining way to spend a few hours, and again, 80s action films were violent but did not seem to indulge in this kind of vulgarity. Combined with the fact that there are barely any fun moments in the film and you have virtually nothing left except for excessively violent, but technically well executed action sequences that create no sense of excitement of purpose. You can see what Stallone was trying to do here, but given the lack of narrative depth in the script and the fact that none of the elements that made 80s action films so much fun are present, “The Expendables” is a wasted opportunity at getting all these iconic stars together in a fun adventure.

Todd Murphy <br />
http://www.allaboutmovies.net

Whether Steve Austin needs a hair dresser  or Jet Li wants more  money, you will find The Expendables to be a good action flick with a  comedy flare. THE EXPENDABLES is a hard-hitting action/thriller about a group of   mercenaries hired to infiltrate a South American country and overthrow   its ruthless dictator. Once the mission begins, the men realize things  aren’t quite as they  appear, finding themselves caught in a dangerous  web of deceit and  betrayal.  With their mission thwarted and an  innocent life in danger,  the men struggle with an even tougher  challenge – one that threatens to  destroy this band of brothers.
The film stars as you would expect… Pure Action, but then it mellows  out for a good part of the beginning of the movie. I was fine with that.  I mean, there’s got to be a time where character development takes  place and this was it. You learn about past missions from Stallone and  Mickey Rourke, which BTW, was amazing hearing Rourke’s character speak. A  broken man, broken by lost love, regrets and dead comrades. Mickey  Rourke added the passion that the movie needed to move forward and he  did an outstanding job. From this point on was the “One Liner” jokes.  Now, Vin Diesel tried to do this in XXX which it was a horrible attempt to be funny but  this guys made a simple thing like that have a big impact here. So…  yes, the movie slowed down for a bit but it was freaking funny. So that  filled the gap that would normally have a negative impression on the  movie goers as character development takes center stage of the film.
Now it’s all action from this point on. Take the back seat and buckle  up. Explosions are plenty. Fights are many and bullets flying without  regards for who gets shot. and all of this because a girl… Yes a girl.  At least that’s what it seems like but don’t let that discourage you.  THE EXPENDABLES is a good film all the way around with a all-star cast.  Big names such as Sylvester Stallone, Eric Roberts, Jason Statham, Jet  Li, Randy Couture,  Dolph Lungdren, Mickey Rourke, Charisma Carpenter,  Steve Austin, Arnold  Schwarzenegger, Terry Crews & Bruce Willis.  Everybody did a really good job in their respected characters. Althou  Willis and  Schwarzenegger had a small part in the movie, I found it to  be the most entertaining scene in the film.
So as a closing note, I would like to add that even without nudity,  this films is definitely worth watching.  THE EXPENDABLES delivers the  action we all crave… with a comedy flare.

Last updated: 2010-11-12 10:24:22 by moviefloss

After watching the Expendables, one thing is clear:  I need a fricking hearing aid.  I don’t mean to sound like an 80 year old man, but my goodness, this is a loud film.  It’s also obnoxious.  The cameos are pathetic.  And I feel like this movie is getting a free pass because its main selling point is that it contains all these high level action stars kicking ass.  No.  Screw that.  I expect better from Stallone, the man who brought us the Rambo movies.  He is capable of making much better action flicks than this, but I get the sense he felt like he had a free pass to do whatever he wanted because the stars of the movie will sell itself.  In fact, in the first 5 minutes, Stallone makes the credits more interesting than the actual first scene.  He wants you to watch the names come across the screen rather than pay attention to what’s happening.

I’ll give you that there are some entertaining and fun scenes, but its nothing we haven’t seen before.  I didn’t hate this movie, but I’ll remember nothing from it.  In fact writing this review is hard because once the credits came on my mind instinctively hit the erase button before I was even out of the theatre. 

The characters are a complete waste of time.  There is absolutely nothing interesting about any of these people.  Sylvester Stallone.  Jason Statham.  Jet Li.  They are all interchangeable characters.    Surprisingly the most interesting character was Gunner, played by Dolph Lundgren who actually gives a solid performance.  He kind of drifts away from the Expendable group and turns against them.  Also, Mickey Rourke had a couple nice scenes.  But that’s about it.

As good as the action is I was reminded of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen quite a bit.  The climactic scene is so cluttered with explosions and fights that I just became numb to it all.  Oh, and did I mention this movie is loud.  I’m dead serious, my ears were in pain.  You have explosions going on in one ear, shitty dialogue being yelled at in the other, and the score just sounds like a bunch of fat people running through a glass room making as much pointless noise as humanly possible.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Sylvester Stallone as much as the next guy, but he mailed it in here both in acting and directing.  The worst part about this movie are the cameos.  I got an Ocean’s 12/Funny People vibe.  They were making it to entertain themselves and not the audience.  And let me give a little SPOILER warning for the rest of this paragraph.  The trailers and ads try to sell you on Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis being in this movie.  Well they are in it…for one scene, and they don’t even fight or shoot anyone!!!  It’s just a quick dialogue scene!!  Yea, that’s what I like about Schwarzenegger and Willis: Fucking talking scenes.  Unbelievable.  And I get they only had Arnold for a limited time, but you shouldn’t even have him in the movie for just a quick talking scene.  And he’s just there so Stallone can make a couple bad jokes about him.  Give me a fricking break.

Well that’s the Expendables.  There is no reason for this movie to exist.  The action is pretty good, but it’s nothing special.  I think you’ll be mildly entertained.  But like I said, I forgot about this entire movie approximately 3 seconds after it ended. 

Rating: 5 out of 10 (Passable Entertainment)   

Last updated: 2010-09-04 16:34:15 by danjewish

I am going to have to split this review into two parts. The first part is about action; it's quite obvious that the director, writer and producer of The Expendables (Sylvester Stallone) intended this film to be the biggest action movie you've ever seen with all your favorite stars. After that I will move on to an actual movie review, one that I would normally write but given the circumstances surrounding this unique film I believe it required a little bit more.

First, the action review:

WHOA, KA-POW, BAM, KASWOOSH, WHUPPA WHUPPA WHUPPA CHOPPER, MANLY GRUNTS, TESTOSTERONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy monkeys stealing food from random tourists Batman, this movie was intense. The bad guys were like "We got hostages and guns so nyeah" and the good guys were all like "Oh yeah?" KAPLOW and all the bad guys heads blew off in a shower of guts and meaty entrails. I haven't encountered this many jaw dropping "daaaaaamnn dude" moments since I saw the last Die Hard movie. And Bruce Willis didn't even kill anyone. I was like whatttt this is out of control and unrestrained Stallone baby.

But it wasn't perfect. You got some very neat explosions, some nasty kills that had my loins pumping adrenaline like a crazed lion, and the craziest fight scenes this year, but it has a few flaws that detract from its action movie status. First off, CGI blood? really? At least make it look sort of real, I've seen plenty of movies with lower budgets that showed off sweeter nonCGI gore. And if someone dies by fire, they should like they're on fire, not like they got torched in a video game. You are way above that Stallone, get it together. Secondly, where are all the chicks? Action movies should have at a minimum 3 different girls. All of whom should kill somebody during the film. The Expendables had one who I guess is cute on a good day but is annoying as a cat in heat on any other day. Thirdly, and finally, you are missing out on some key players my friend. Jean Claude Van Damme? Steven Seagal? The only real action stars are Jet Li, Sly Stallone, and Jason Statham, since Bruce Willis doesn't kill anyone, the rest are just ex-wrestlers in my book.

So pretty awesome but not the best, there are definitely better movies out there.

Action Rating: 3 out of 4 burning helicopters.

And now for the real review:

This is not a lie, and I am not exaggerating in any way (I have friends and disgruntled theater goers that can prove it), I laughed this entire movie. Not a little chuckle, not a slight knee slapper, but full on out of breathe guffaws. This is due to the absolute deplorable writing. There was not one gleam of hope in this script. Giving Stallone a pad of paper and telling him to come up with meaningful dialog is like forcing me onto a nuclear submarine and telling me to find the bathroom, eventually I am just going to drop my pants when I have to go. But you say, "But Chris, Stallone wrote Rocky and that won him two Oscar nominations." Sure, I'd reply and every so often I'd probably find that bathroom; doesn't mean it wasn't a fluke.

Here is an example of how terrible it is, Mickey Rourke is trying to bear his soul while painting a guitar. It went a little like this. "My soul is all dry like this paint on this guitar." That's a fine analogy but Stallone decided to throw in more dialog to try and flesh out a concept that everyone in the audience already understood. Rourke continues, "Because the paint will dry on the guitar when I'm done, just like my soul." Or something ridiculous along those lines. I literally had a friend next to me leave the room because she was laughing so hard, I almost followed her because it was almost too ridiculous to stand.

The plot is alright, but certainly not the stuff of legend. Especially when you realize that the team goes in to do a job for no money, when they could have done it for money, but whatever you didn't go to see The Expendables for a plot. You came for guns and more guns.

But you may have also come for acting, because a good movie becomes a bad movie with bad acting; and a bad movie becomes even worse. When the best actor in your film is 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, who has all of three lines, you need to rethink your priorities.

If you don't like action movies, I would avoid this movie like you would avoid a skunk with diarrhea, but then again I got one of the most hearty laughs ever out of this film and I left the theater smiling.

1 and a half out of 4 stars

-Christopher O'Connell

In 2006 Sylvester Stallone  released Rocky  Balboa, which was about the idea that you can still have something to  offer no matter what your age. Stallone lives out this idea by adding a  potential third franchise to his career in the Expendables.

The  Expendables is the all star action fest, written, directed and starring  Sylvester Stallone. The cast includes Jason Stathem, Jet Li, Dolph  Lundgren, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, and  Bruce Willis, a virtual whose who of action stars. Arnold Schwarzenegger  also has a cameo, marking the first time Sly and Arnold ever appeared  on screen together.

The Expendables are a group of mercenaries recruited by the CIA via  Bruce Willis’s character to take out a dictator of a banana republic.  After Sly and Stathem run a reconnaissance mission on the island they  turn down the job, but then have a change of heart. Sandra, their  contact on the island, (conveniently a hot island girl) could have  escaped with them but wanted to stay with her people. So the band gets  together and goes to the island for reasons of justice.
We get a tiny bit of characterization for some of the characters.  Lundgren developed a drug problem as the mercenary life is getting to  him. Couture seems to have some mental issues. Jet Li wants more money  for unknown reasons. Stathem has an estranged ex girlfriend. Stallone’s  character is laid back, cocksure, an opposite to his more brooding, dark  character of Rambo. Mickey Rourke carries the emotional weight of the  movie. He has a great speech about redemption and how dark his soul is,  which is the high point of the movie.

The scene with Arnold is funny where he and Sly trade one liners.  Their characters in the movie don’t like each other, and hopefully will  go at it in a sequel. The scene is for exposition, where Bruce Willis  explains the mission. Arnold passes on the job, and the only reason he’s  in the scene is because he’s Arnold and we finally get to see him on  screen with Sly and Willis.

Needless to say the action is furious. Lots of gun fights, knife  fights, brawls, car chases, etc. The problem is as fun as it is to watch  there’s little to no tension. Anyone watching this kind of movie has  grown up watching movies like Rambo and Commando, where one guy takes on  an army. If Rambo can take on an army all by himself, what chance does  the army have against five Rambos?

SPOILER

This brings me to another problem, that none of the heroes die (Or  even get hurt that much). Half way through you think Dolph Lundgren  dies, but he survives. Mickey Rourke doesn’t see any action, but there  was one part of the story where he should have been killed. That would  have further cemented his emotional weight of the film.  The only big  name actor that gets killed is Austin, who is one of the villains. I  thought maybe Coutre would die at least because his character was  developed the least. They needed two or three other big name actors to  play villains to add some tension.

It is simply amazing to see Sly still in action at 62. (He easily  passes for a man in his 40s) If this indeed turns into a franchise, he  may be the only actor star in three major franchises. (Rocky, Rambo, and  Expendables) Again the action is fun, but the end result felt  disappointing. Some of the special effects were real bad, like the  opening scene with the laser sighting and the guy getting blown apart by  a shotgun. Also in the end Austin’s death looked real bad, as did some  of the building explosions. Fun but disappointing, 6/10.

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Last updated: 2010-08-20 23:49:12 by jemurr

Sylvester Stallone has been trying to re-establish himself as a movie star in the last few years by making sequels to his popular Rocky and Rambo franchises.  Now he steps out with a completely original film in The Expendables.  Though the film is really a throwback to the heyday of 80's action movies before they were dominated by special effects and CGI.  In fact, everyone in the film performs their own stunts.  Stallone is in his early 60's and to date has never used a stunt double.  You gotta give him props for that.
The movie is basically an orgy of testosterone.  There's a plot about overthrowing a dictator and an ex-CIA operative gone bad... blah blah blah.  All anyone cares about is seeing the bevy of action stars kick ass.   As you can see by the poster to the left, Stallone has rounded up as many action stars as he could - past and present.  It's Stallone and Jason Statham who get the most screen time.  The rest of the cast pop up every now and then, along with Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger appearing in one non-fighting scene.  The movie obviously targets a male audience; there are only two females who share decent screen time in the entire movie.  Even in the one scene where you expect Stallone to kiss the girl, he basically turns around to head back to his male buddies.  No time for love in a movie like this, his job is done and he's completed his mission.  At least his mission is based on what's morally right and not just a paycheck.
The problem is that it's not a very cohesive film at all.  The first half in particular feels like a straight-to-video film you'd find on a shelf next to something like Kickboxer 4.  The guys spew out one-liners that are supposed to sound cool but really just aren't that memorable.  It may be exciting enough for action lovers to see this gathering of tough guys together in one film, but it just wasn't enough for me.  Though the latter part of the film finds improvement as the final big action scene is done really well.  It's a nice climax of one-on-one fighting, shooting, and explosions.  And you can never really go wrong with Eric Roberts playing a slimy bad guy.  It just felt like the movie could have been a lot more and didn't leave me feeling too satisfied to want to visit it again anytime soon.

http://www.examiner.com/movie-in-philadelphia/danny-porcaro