D-War

*snort*

That pretty much sums it up. I feel sorry for anyone who paid to see this movie in the theaters. I know they were pissed beyond measure once it was finished... if they stayed that long. Personally, I'm glad I didn't spend money on it -- I got it thru Netflix and will be very happy to send it back to them once I'm done writing this post.

The first mistake this movie made was having a flashbackwithin a flashback. Jason Behr (always a hotty even if his role sucks) stars as Ethan Kendrick, a reincarnated Korean warrior sworn to protect a celestial maiden, who is also reincarnated. While dear 20+ Ethan is sitting at his computer, he flashes back to when he was seven (it looks like) and an old man told him the story of his first incarnation... in a very looooooooong flashback.

The director could have started the movie with the old man telling little Ethan the story and then fast forwarded to the present where big Ethan is realizing the old guy wasn't full of crap after all. But that wasn't the only mistake.

This movie had special effects that would make the people at Sci-Fi Channel cringe. Even if you're willing to overlook the less-than-best computer animation, the "huh?" moments of the movie are what sink it the fastest.

To name a few without giving away any of the plot:
- While Ethan and Sarah (the girl he's protecting) are running from monsters and mayhem, some strange woman drives up, yells for them to get in, and THEY DO! They don't know this woman at all (neither does the viewer, for that matter). She just showed up out of nowhere and they're going to trust her. Huh?

- Military personnel arrive on the scene to kick monster butt... by shooting at a skyscraper that is probably full of people. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it seems the US military doesn't care that the monsters have landed on an occupied building in the middle of a work day because they let loose with a barrage of heavy artillery fire right at the building. Huh?

- The monsters want Sarah so their boss can eat her. If she dies (before she's eaten), then they have to wait another five hundred years to try eating her again. That's why they shoot fireballs at her escape vehicle causing it to do aerial acrobatics and burst into flame. Huh? I haven't seen this type of stupidity since Ecks vs Sever when they wanted to take Lucy Lui's character alive and that's why they rolled out tanks, grenades, and machine guns.

It took sheer will to watch this movie to the end. I only did it because I wanted to see how the writer and director concluded the story. You can see the Asian influence, that's for sure. I don't know what our Eastern neighbors have against happily-ever-after. A good HEA never hurt nobody.

There were a few good parts, though:
- The dragon -- yes THE dragon, there's only one despite what the title would lead you to believe -- is very cool looking and I think they spent most of their CGI budget rendering him. If I was to buy this movie at all, it would be so I could use that dragon as reference for my dragon series.

- It was nice to hear a modernized version of Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique, Op. 14. I'll have to hunt it down on iTunes if this movie even had a soundtrack.

This movie is a pass and I'm sure it will do very well in Razzies.

D. Renee Bagby<br />
Building New Realms of Passion<br />
http://dreneebagby.com