Sukeban Deka: Kodo nemu = Asamiya Saki

Yo-Yo Girl Cop

I seem to have a knack lately for picking bad movies. Or not that so much as following the movie recommendations of my rental establishment. I usually don't do that seeing as my tastes are eclectic and just because I liked one movie doesn't mean I'll like another of the same theme or popularity.

First, Yo-Yo Girl Cop is a Japanese live action movie that continues the story of an anime called Sukeban Deka. While I loved Sukeban Deka, Yo-Yo Girl Cop was a trial to get thru.Like Sukeban Deka, the cops have resorted to blackmail to recruit the main character. Her mother is on trial in the US for being a spy and she'll get a pardon if her daughter plays ball and finds out what some underground internet terrorists are up to with their wacky countdown. And, of course, to do this, she has to infiltrate a high school.

To clear up any confusion that may exist, the Saki Asamiya of the Sukeban Deka anime miniseries is no where present in Yo-Yo Girl Cop, only her name. The police seem to have confiscated the name and use it like James Bond -- when the police find a girl who suits their needs they give her the name and a yo-yo.

Too bad they don't give the girl lessons on how to use said yo-yo. But that's completely okay because yo-yo combat techniques (in case you didn't know, the yo-yo was originally a weapon and still is in certain places in the East) can be learned thru osmosis, according to this movie. The main character starts the movie trying to use the yo-yo and nearly knocking herself out and ends the movie kicking butt.

Of course there is a spectacular (can you read the sarcasm 'cause it's there) yo-yo vs yo-yo battle in the movie. The opponent has already displayed her yo-yo skills at various times in the movie, so the viewer knows she's much more proficient than the main character. And not to spoil anything (who am I kidding, I doubt you'll watch this movie), but the character with skills gets served. Thus proving the main character will always win no matter what.

Don't believe me? The cops gave the main character a nice leather-armor get-up to wear while kicking butt. Said outfit -- that comes with a neckerchief and I don't know why -- is completely bullet proof. Yup, one bad guy was firing at her point blank and didn't do any damage. However, when said bad guy pulls out his katana (it's a Japanese action film, you knew that was coming), he shreds the bullet proof outfit like the cotton jumpsuit it resembles. o.O?

It literally took me three days to watch this movie, because I kept finding better things to do with my time. You may ask why I didn't just shut it off and return it. Well, I wanted to see the end. Also, I don't write reviews for movies I don't finish and I desperately wanted to share how bad I thought this movie was.

The acting made the movie seem like it was trying to make fun of itself and yet I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be serious. The humorous parts weren't funny and the serious parts were laughable. I didn't empathize with any of the characters and was totally hoping the whiny sidekick would bite it to add some sort of depth to the movie.

And the worst part of all... they left it open for a sequel. O.O!

If you are planning a movie night comprised of cheesy action flicks for you to MST3K, then this movie is for you. Hell, if you want a movie for a drinking game, this is the movie for you as well. You can do a shot every time someone says "teme" (Japanese curse that has a fuzzy meaning but usually gets translated as 'you asshole' or something along those lines). But I guess that only works if you listen to it in Japanese.

I say avoid this movie unless you have nothing else better to do.

D. Renee Bagby<br />
Building New Realms of Passion<br />
http://dreneebagby.com