GalaxinaIf there’s one thing I love about old films, it’s the fact they had awesome film posters and promotional art. Especially the low-budget ones featuring a sexy lady in the lead role, preferably a fashion model or something like that. Well, one of those films is “Galaxina” made in 1980 starring Dorothy Stratten, that year’s Playboy Playmate of the Year.
Actually, I found this flick reading something about the film “Serenity” and its predecessor, the TV series “Firefly” created by Joss Whedon. What I liked about those two is the genre – space western. Although I’m not a big fan of old-fashioned westerns, I always had a thing for space westerns. In general, I pretty much like when modern technology is mixed with something from the past, the cyberpunk style, or whatever you’d like to call it. I guess the reason is me playing all those Japanese RPG’s (the only RPG’s that are worth playing) when I was younger. The setting usually mixed swords, spears and blades with high-tech guns and machines such as airships and such. As for space westerns, I haven’t seen any of them, beside “Serenity”. Well, not live-action ones. The anime “Trigun” is a masterpiece of the genre. That is how I picture a perfect space western (and I dream of seeing it made into a live-action film). Anyway, as I was saying, I was reading about “Serenity” and clicked on the list of other space-westerns and stumbled upon “Galaxina”, saw the awesome poster, and decided to check it out.
Unfortunately, oldies with cool posters usually turn up pretty bad, even for me who loves cheesiness and campiness. Well I was lucky this time and “Galaxina” turned out to be quite the opposite and a very pleasant surprise.
Galaxina is a humanoid robot, assigned to the Police Starship Infinity. Its captain Cornelius Butt can hardly be called competent, and the rest of the crew isn’t any better – there’s the redneck cowboy Buzz, the ship’s pilot Thor (played by Stepehen Macht, the father of Gabriel Macht who starred in "The Spirit"), the engineer Maurice and the wise-cracking Chinaman Sam Wo who tells nothing but old proverbs. When a mission requires the ship's crew to be placed in suspended animation for decades, Galaxina finds herself alone for many years, developing emotions and falling in love with Thor, as he and the other crew sleep the years away.
“Galaxina" is a parody of “Star Trek”, “Star Wars”, “Alien” (well, SF films in general) and of course westerns. Although it is low-budget it is visually well made. But what I liked the most is the genuinely funny humor. More importantly, it is not forced. You know, like in most sitcoms for example, when they throw 15 lame jokes in one minutes, instead of throwing one that is actually good? “Galaxina” is not like that. And there are also no slapstick gags, nobody hits his head against a pole, and nobody farts.
The funniest part is probably the development of the love story between Thor and Galaxina. At first it’s difficult for them to maintain their relationship since she can’t talk, and he can’t touch her because every time he tries a bolt of electricity shakes him up. She also doesn’t have a vagina. But you can order one from the catalog, and it comes with a guarantee. And let’s not forget the mysterious alien Ordrick, Mr. Spot – the human restaurant owner, where you can eat humans prepared in every way imaginable. And there’s plenty more.
And can you imagine my surprise when I logged onto IMDb to rate the film and saw its rating? 2.4/10! 2.4????!!! I mean, seriously, WHAT... THE... FUCK? And the reviews there... oh my God, I won't even get into that. I was expecting a lower rating, but 2.4... and 20% on Rotten Tomatoes... Fucking hell...
To me, "Galaxina" is a definite must-see.
Rating: 9/10
- review by Venetilation Shaft
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