800 Bullets“800 Bullets” (“800 balas”) is a Spanish drama with some comedy elements, directed by Alex de la Iglesia. This quite obscure title serves as a beautiful homage to the Wild West and Westerns, and also the bygone days of good ol’ real filmmaking in general.
Carlos is a 10-something year old living with his mother, a wealthy businesswoman. She doesn’t tell him much of his dead father who worked as a stunt-double with his father Julian, Carlos’ grandfather, on many American made Westerns; there, after a stunt gone wrong, he also met his end. Stumbling upon an old, worn-out poster of a film, Carlos decides to secretly visit Julian who nowadays, along with a rag-tag group of enthusiasts, does Western themed shows in “Texas, Hollywood”, a rundown theme park located in Almeria. The young Carlos is drawn into this strange world of old, but all will come to a end when his mother buys the property and decides to tear down the town. However, its residents – cowboys and Indians alike – will stock up on real bullets instead of blanks and defend their home to the end, against the police and the National Guard.
If to be compared with anything, I’d do a comparison with Woody Harrelson’s “Defendor”, since I saw that recently. It kinda has the same feel and atmosphere, being both a serious film, and a comedy with a string of lightness and uplifting about it. I liked the scenes where Julian shared his bitterness with how the world of films and the real world work today – all about money and profit, with no heart put into anything. He said how he was a tank driver and a stunt-double for George C. Scott in “Patton”, and continues telling about Patton being “a guy with balls”; or how he doubled for the legendary Clint Eastwood on many occasions and how they don’t do real films anymore. Naturally, his stories are taken with a huge grain of salt, being seen as only demented ramblings of an old and withered out fool.
The ending, just like “Defendor” will leave you with a bittersweet feeling. Believe it or not, Clint Eastwood was slated to make an appearance in person in “800 Bullets”, but was unfortunately held up by other engagements, which is a damn shame because then this film would’ve been complete.
There is one scene for which “800 Bullets” gained notoriety. It’s something you’d never see in the States, not in a million years. In it, the prostitute Sandra (the gorgeous and quite curvaceous Yoima Valdez) teaches young Carlos how to properly grab and properly “work” a titty: “You have to feel its weight. Just imagine that they’re little bags, full of coins that make a sound like this. Now you try it. Do it gently, or it won’t work.” The next morning, Carlos wakes beside Sandra who is totally naked. I’m guessing young Luis Castro was the object of envy of many a man. Personally, I don’t get why the controversy at all, because the scene wasn’t “dirty” or “perverted” at all, but actually cute.
The cast was wonderful, especially Sancho Garcia who plays Julian. He really brought emotion into the character and made the story that more convincing. Little Luis Castro, considering he was just a child actor, also performed very well. The whole film was made more authentic by the Western soundtrack, of course.
If anything in this review has peaked your interest, give “800 Bullets” a chance. It is a charming, heartwarming comedy drama with a message. And there’s Yoima Valdez…
Rating: 8/10- review by Ventilation Shaft
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