New Moon

Review Title

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Drama/Fantasy, 2009 (Rated PG 13)
Bella Swan is your typical angst ridden high school teen who has a not so typical boyfriend. The love of her life just so happens to be otherworldly. Bella is crushed when Edward and his entire family leave never to be seen again and even more devastated by his statement that he no longer wants to be with her. To fill the void she begins spending time with her longtime friend Jacob. They not only get closer but he is also there to try to stop an enemy from the past intent on seeing her dead. Then, even he starts to act strangely and abruptly drops out of her life momentarily. Meanwhile Edward has put himself into a precarious position with the Royal family and could use some saving of his own. The two men in her life come from totally opposing worlds. If forced to choose who will Bella pick?

• I hated Twilight and so I didn't expect much from this movie but was pleasantly surprised. I saw Twilight just a month after reading the entire Twilight series back to back and being unable to put it down. When I saw Twilight live and in color it was immediately clear that a movie could not do the book justice and I was incredibly disappointed by what I saw.
• Perhaps I am so far removed from reading the books that my expectations have lowered-but at any rate I feel that New Moon was much better then Twilight. The love between Edward and Bella was palpable and I enjoyed the additional action involving Jacob in his new form. Which was very good by the way. Jacob's form that is. The chest on that kid is perfect and he looked even cuter after the hair cut.
• There is so much angst in this movie. Sometimes I just wished Bella would smile and act like a normal kid for once instead of being so isolated and sullen to the point where she doesn't even want presents for a her B day. Edward usually looks kind of miserable too-but I imagine being a vampire might dampen your mood every once in a while.
• They could all take a lesson from Edward's sister Alice. With her lilting voice and high energy personality she is certainly a breath of fresh air.

4 Stars

Just Me

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Whatever you thought of the first Twilight movie, there's no avoiding the huge splash that it made in cinemas. Perfectly plugging the gap between Harry Potter and Interview With A Vampire, it appealed to every teen, goth, and goth teen on the planet with its heady combination of bloodsucking, tragic romance, and high school hormones.

If nothing else, it made The Lost Boys look like gritty hardcore horror.

While the original Twilight spun a curiously engaging spell thanks to the brooding anti-dynamism of its two stars, however, The Twilight Saga: New Moon manages to take the sullen teen archetype to a new low. Unless you're a fan of moping, sighing, and excessive teen angst then this is probably one to avoid. Even the vampires have lost all their bite.

The lack of a central conflict in Melissa Rosenberg's script (based, of course, on Stephanie Meyer's bestselling novel) really doesn't help. Jacob's evolution into a snarling furball is relegated to subplot status, and instead our focus is fixed on Bella's heartbroken sorrow at Edward's departure.

Except there's not really much dramatic interest in watching a teenager sigh and stare out the window, even if Kristen Stewart is a true master of its finer nuances. The few scenes where the rivalry between Edward and Jacob finally kicks in add a tiny shot of adrenaline, but otherwise this is a story that wears its melancholy like a maudlin friendship bracelet.

There's also a subplot in which Edward tries to commit suicide by purposefully angering ruling vampire sect the Volturi, but this is so unbearably silly that it adds little to the story beyond a merry jaunt through some Italian country lanes. Volturi spokesvamp Aro is fleshed out with a suitable dash of camp by Michael Sheen, but even Sheen's gloriously vampish bloodsucker isn't allowed to detract from the overall atmosphere of sulking moodiness for long.

It's as if director Chris Weitz (The Golden Compass, American Pie) is determined to make his audience's experience as miserable as possible.

Naturally both Stewart and Robert Pattinson are well-suited to this kind of brow-beaten nonsense, while Taylor Lautner seems to take his shirt off at every possible opportunity to allow us to marvel at his ridiculously architectural abs, but none of it actually makes The Twilight Saga: New Moon any fun. Those brooding teenage goths will still revel in the doomed romance, but for the rest of us it's tough to get beyond the endless sulking. You have to pity Bella's long-suffering father Charlie (Billy Burke).

Let's hope that new director David Slade learns his lesson before he signs off on the third installment in the series, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, due in cinemas this summer. Even vampires need a little fun sometimes.

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FILM REVIEW : The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

Well, since I've already discussed the phenomenon, let's talk the film in question.

I had the opportunity (probably not the best word to use) to see The Twilight Saga: New Moon yesterday...

I should preface this review with my overall opinions concerning the first film: if you didn't read my article about the phenomenon - I already posted the link above, but here it is again - you would know that I didn't care too much for the first film. The story was bland and cliched, the screenplay gives way for no character development, very poor visual effects, and - for the finale - director Catherine Hardwicke didn't have a really strong sense of what she was doing.

Granted, the lead performances given by Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart - as well as their shared chemistry - were admirable, despite being greatly hindered by Hardwicke being clueless in her direction.

If I had reviewed the first film for this blog, I would probably have given it a 4.5 out of 10 stars and a 3 out of 5 stars... and that's me being nice...

Anyway, to the matter at hand...

What is there to say about The Twilight Saga: New Moon? Well, before I delve into the details, here's my brief overview: what was good about the first film was done even better... but the negative aspects were more poorly executed in take two of The Twilight Saga.

The film opens on moody and whiny pessimist Bella's (Kristen Stewart) eighteenth birthday. Sparkly and albino vampire boyfriend Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and family throw her a party. However, a horrible little thing happens at the party: one of the vampires tries to eat Bella after she starts bleeding!

Well, I mean... vampires... human blood... not to mention the fact that Bella could be coined "vamp-bait," a concept that has been pretty much pounded into readers'/viewers' heads at every chance possible.

Smart protagonist, huh?

Anyway, after that little brouhaha, Edward meets Bella in the forest (don't ask. I didn't get that either really) and tells her he never wants to see her again! In fact, she was never good enough for him in the first place!

Talk about disrespect, Mister Cullen! Sounds like he took breakup lessons from Joe Jonas!

Mister Disrespectful and his family then proceed to leave Middle-of-Nowhere, Washington, leaving our brooding, whiny, and withdrawn protagonist to be, well, even more broody, whiny, and withdrawn than before!

Oh no! What ever shall she do?

Well, she has her childhood friend Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), who has suddenly evolved from no body shape at all to built, buff, and ready to roundhouse kick you in the face at any given moment... for any given reason.

And - spoiler - something that's never happened before: Jacob totally has a crush on Bella!

I know - I wouldn't have guessed it either!

However, for some reason, she doesn't seem to connect the dots here. Of course, we are talking about the same girl who went to a house full of vampires that dream about eating her limb by limb.

Stupid decision number two for our brilliant protagonist. Don't you want your daughters to end up just like Bella?

I didn't think so. But back to this film adaptation of a Harlequin romance novel-lite brilliant and completely sensible story: she sits in the exact same chair facing the window - and even retains the exact same brooding facial expression - for several months... or at least that's what they made it look like in the film.
 
Anyway, somewhere, somehow, Jacob actually comes into the picture. The two start to develop an even closer relationship. Yes, that's right! They go from friends to... being closer friends!

Well, isn't that just fine and dandy? But wait: Jacob has a startling secret...

Jacob is a werewolf!

Gasps! Shocks! Bewilderment!

It's not like every single commercial hasn't totally spoiled that part of the film, so don't be so quick to throw your New Moon copies at me just yet. I'd have to ask that you wait until you finish reading my review. Then you can hurl as many copies at me as you'd like so I can proceed to burn them.

Where does the plot go from here, you ask? I didn't know there was a plot here! Your guess is as good as mine.

Something about Volturi vampires and cliff-jumping and more senseless broodiness comes to mind, but I could be wrong.

Now back to seriousness (somewhat... I have to apologize. I'm just having so much fun with this)

Here are the horrible aspects of the film:

I could just give a general "everything," but that wouldn't be nice. Not too far from the truth, but it's still not very kind. Granted, it's not kind to treat moviegoers to awful dreck like this.

First, the direction. Again, Catherine Hardwicke did a horrible job with the first film. She may as well have doused the bland screenplay in gasoline and set it on fire, and Twilight would have been just as... good(?). But Chris Weitz, who helmed another horrible fantasy film (2007's His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass), isn't much better. As a matter of fact, I could make the argument that he did worse.

I think Weitz gave the principle actors a much better sense of freedom this time around. I mean, did you watch Twilight? It was like one of those awkward, unasked for, and uncalled for conversations that you have... except that it was two hours and it involved sparkling vampires.

Next up: Taylor Lautner's performance as Jacob. I can admire dedication to a role - including his getting into shape to play this character and his studying of the source material to understand his (completely one-dimensional) character - but I'm sorry: having twelve-pack abs means nothing other than having twelve-pack abs. Well, it'd probably be a good stepping stone to getting any woman you wanted, but I'm getting away from the point. Furthermore, this extremely desirable physique does not in any way, shape, or form mean that you can act or that you can even play a certain role well. All of the things I had heard about how mind-blowing this performance is and the revelation brought upon by it completely lost any and all meaning upon seeing this film. Based on this performance, Lautner couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag that was already opened at both ends.

Another bad seed in a garden that already wreaks of epic fail is the story and screenplay. Just as bland as ever, and even more disconnected. With the first film, as poorly done as the writing was, I understood the overall point: that Bella and Edward are completely (and without any legitimate reason) in love with each other.

I guess that was the point of this film as well, but I didn't get any real connectivity between events. It felt very rushed; for about an hour or so absolutely nothing happens. Then, within fifteen or twenty minutes, tons of stuff happens and then, "Hey! Look what time it is! The movie's over."

Another thing I didn't like: the visuals. They did better this time around with the action sequences and such, but those wolves were incredibly unrealistic looking. Seriously. Wait until you see those things on the big screen, and you'll definitely see where I'm coming from.

My final - and quite possibly my biggest - complaint about The Twilight Saga: New Moon is the main protagonist Miss Bella Swan. I've already made it a point to express how stupid this girl is. I've many times mentioned her senseless angst and broodiness, and I hope to have conveyed the personal layers and emotional depth that this Lizzie Bennett-wannabe DOESN'T have.

So here's my question: why would any guy want to date this girl? At all. And here, we're not talking just any guy. We're talking two guys who could almost literally get any girl they want!

Edward has mentioned how he wants to make Bella happy. It's good that he's immortal: it'll probably take him all of eternity to get this girl to shut up and be glad that she isn't in poor living conditions.

Seriously! She's all about whining and complaining and boo-hooing herself. Whenever she's with Edward or Jacob, she's whining about something. Whenever she isn't with either of these two, she's whining about how she wants to be with them!

Bella, just get over yourself... and while you're at it, you might wanna get a head start on some college classes. Personality 101 would be great, but only if you're okay with British accents because it's taught by Elizabeth Bennett.

Of course, you probably don't like British accents, as you don't seem to like anything other than GQ-ready men who will put up with your senseless psychobabble and the life-threatening brouhahas you bring upon them.

Way to go, Bella. You're a great role model for the millions of impressionable teenage girls that read about your adventures in the world of negativity.

Now I have to talk about the good parts. I can be pretty short, sweet, and to the point about this!

It might seem out of place to praise Kristen Stewart's performance immediately following my total tearing down of the character she portrays. Well, that's what I'm doing. She was even better than she was in the first film, as the director was better (at least with the actors), and she made me actually (sort of) care about this annoying little whiner!

Secondly, Robert Pattinson as Edward. It's a shame that this guy is never going to be able to live down the fact that he played Edward Cullen, because this guy is incredibly talented. I totally bought his portrayal of Edward: head to toe, start to finish.

Lastly, Dakota Fanning and Michael Sheen were good in their small roles as Volturi vampires.

As you can probably guess, I didn't like The Twilight Saga: New Moon very much. Bad directing, a weak story, a flawed screenplay, fairly poor visuals, a bad leading performance, and an awful protagonist don't really add up to a good film, even with two strong lead performances.

Not recommended

Rating: 3.0 out of 10 stars (1.5 out of 5 stars)

Photo Courtesy: Shopping Blog
 

Julian Stark (pen name)<br />
<br />
Founder/Editor: Movies and Other Things<br />
<br />
http://julianstark-moviesandotherthings.blogspot.com

FILM REVIEW : The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

Well, since I've already discussed the phenomenon, let's talk the film in question.

I had the opportunity (probably not the best word to use) to see The Twilight Saga: New Moon yesterday...

I should preface this review with my overall opinions concerning the first film: if you didn't read my article about the phenomenon - I already posted the link above, but here it is again - you would know that I didn't care too much for the first film. The story was bland and cliched, the screenplay gives way for no character development, very poor visual effects, and - for the finale - director Catherine Hardwicke didn't have a really strong sense of what she was doing.

Granted, the lead performances given by Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart - as well as their shared chemistry - were admirable, despite being greatly hindered by Hardwicke being clueless in her direction.

If I had reviewed the first film for this blog, I would probably have given it a 4.5 out of 10 stars and a 3 out of 5 stars... and that's me being nice...

Anyway, to the matter at hand...

What is there to say about The Twilight Saga: New Moon? Well, before I delve into the details, here's my brief overview: what was good about the first film was done even better... but the negative aspects were more poorly executed in take two of The Twilight Saga.

The film opens on moody and whiny pessimist Bella's (Kristen Stewart) eighteenth birthday. Sparkly and albino vampire boyfriend Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and family throw her a party. However, a horrible little thing happens at the party: one of the vampires tries to eat Bella after she starts bleeding!

Well, I mean... vampires... human blood... not to mention the fact that Bella could be coined "vamp-bait," a concept that has been pretty much pounded into readers'/viewers' heads at every chance possible.

Smart protagonist, huh?

Anyway, after that little brouhaha, Edward meets Bella in the forest (don't ask. I didn't get that either really) and tells her he never wants to see her again! In fact, she was never good enough for him in the first place!

Talk about disrespect, Mister Cullen! Sounds like he took breakup lessons from Joe Jonas!

Mister Disrespectful and his family then proceed to leave Middle-of-Nowhere, Washington, leaving our brooding, whiny, and withdrawn protagonist to be, well, even more broody, whiny, and withdrawn than before!

Oh no! What ever shall she do?

Well, she has her childhood friend Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), who has suddenly evolved from no body shape at all to built, buff, and ready to roundhouse kick you in the face at any given moment... for any given reason.

And - spoiler - something that's never happened before: Jacob totally has a crush on Bella!

I know - I wouldn't have guessed it either!

However, for some reason, she doesn't seem to connect the dots here. Of course, we are talking about the same girl who went to a house full of vampires that dream about eating her limb by limb.

Stupid decision number two for our brilliant protagonist. Don't you want your daughters to end up just like Bella?

I didn't think so. But back to this film adaptation of a Harlequin romance novel-lite brilliant and completely sensible story: she sits in the exact same chair facing the window - and even retains the exact same brooding facial expression - for several months... or at least that's what they made it look like in the film.
 
Anyway, somewhere, somehow, Jacob actually comes into the picture. The two start to develop an even closer relationship. Yes, that's right! They go from friends to... being closer friends!

Well, isn't that just fine and dandy? But wait: Jacob has a startling secret...

Jacob is a werewolf!

Gasps! Shocks! Bewilderment!

It's not like every single commercial hasn't totally spoiled that part of the film, so don't be so quick to throw your New Moon copies at me just yet. I'd have to ask that you wait until you finish reading my review. Then you can hurl as many copies at me as you'd like so I can proceed to burn them.

Where does the plot go from here, you ask? I didn't know there was a plot here! Your guess is as good as mine.

Something about Volturi vampires and cliff-jumping and more senseless broodiness comes to mind, but I could be wrong.

Now back to seriousness (somewhat... I have to apologize. I'm just having so much fun with this)

Here are the horrible aspects of the film:

I could just give a general "everything," but that wouldn't be nice. Not too far from the truth, but it's still not very kind. Granted, it's not kind to treat moviegoers to awful dreck like this.

First, the direction. Again, Catherine Hardwicke did a horrible job with the first film. She may as well have doused the bland screenplay in gasoline and set it on fire, and Twilight would have been just as... good(?). But Chris Weitz, who helmed another horrible fantasy film (2007's His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass), isn't much better. As a matter of fact, I could make the argument that he did worse.

I think Weitz gave the principle actors a much better sense of freedom this time around. I mean, did you watch Twilight? It was like one of those awkward, unasked for, and uncalled for conversations that you have... except that it was two hours and it involved sparkling vampires.

Next up: Taylor Lautner's performance as Jacob. I can admire dedication to a role - including his getting into shape to play this character and his studying of the source material to understand his (completely one-dimensional) character - but I'm sorry: having twelve-pack abs means nothing other than having twelve-pack abs. Well, it'd probably be a good stepping stone to getting any woman you wanted, but I'm getting away from the point. Furthermore, this extremely desirable physique does not in any way, shape, or form mean that you can act or that you can even play a certain role well. All of the things I had heard about how mind-blowing this performance is and the revelation brought upon by it completely lost any and all meaning upon seeing this film. Based on this performance, Lautner couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag that was already opened at both ends.

Another bad seed in a garden that already wreaks of epic fail is the story and screenplay. Just as bland as ever, and even more disconnected. With the first film, as poorly done as the writing was, I understood the overall point: that Bella and Edward are completely (and without any legitimate reason) in love with each other.

I guess that was the point of this film as well, but I didn't get any real connectivity between events. It felt very rushed; for about an hour or so absolutely nothing happens. Then, within fifteen or twenty minutes, tons of stuff happens and then, "Hey! Look what time it is! The movie's over."

Another thing I didn't like: the visuals. They did better this time around with the action sequences and such, but those wolves were incredibly unrealistic looking. Seriously. Wait until you see those things on the big screen, and you'll definitely see where I'm coming from.

My final - and quite possibly my biggest - complaint about The Twilight Saga: New Moon is the main protagonist Miss Bella Swan. I've already made it a point to express how stupid this girl is. I've many times mentioned her senseless angst and broodiness, and I hope to have conveyed the personal layers and emotional depth that this Lizzie Bennett-wannabe DOESN'T have.

So here's my question: why would any guy want to date this girl? At all. And here, we're not talking just any guy. We're talking two guys who could almost literally get any girl they want!

Edward has mentioned how he wants to make Bella happy. It's good that he's immortal: it'll probably take him all of eternity to get this girl to shut up and be glad that she isn't in poor living conditions.

Seriously! She's all about whining and complaining and boo-hooing herself. Whenever she's with Edward or Jacob, she's whining about something. Whenever she isn't with either of these two, she's whining about how she wants to be with them!

Bella, just get over yourself... and while you're at it, you might wanna get a head start on some college classes. Personality 101 would be great, but only if you're okay with British accents because it's taught by Elizabeth Bennett.

Of course, you probably don't like British accents, as you don't seem to like anything other than GQ-ready men who will put up with your senseless psychobabble and the life-threatening brouhahas you bring upon them.

Way to go, Bella. You're a great role model for the millions of impressionable teenage girls that read about your adventures in the world of negativity.

Now I have to talk about the good parts. I can be pretty short, sweet, and to the point about this!

It might seem out of place to praise Kristen Stewart's performance immediately following my total tearing down of the character she portrays. Well, that's what I'm doing. She was even better than she was in the first film, as the director was better (at least with the actors), and she made me actually (sort of) care about this annoying little whiner!

Secondly, Robert Pattinson as Edward. It's a shame that this guy is never going to be able to live down the fact that he played Edward Cullen, because this guy is incredibly talented. I totally bought his portrayal of Edward: head to toe, start to finish.

Lastly, Dakota Fanning and Michael Sheen were good in their small roles as Volturi vampires.

As you can probably guess, I didn't like The Twilight Saga: New Moon very much. Bad directing, a weak story, a flawed screenplay, fairly poor visuals, a bad leading performance, and an awful protagonist don't really add up to a good film, even with two strong lead performances.

Not recommended

Rating: 3.0 out of 10 stars (1.5 out of 5 stars)

Photo Courtesy: Shopping Blog
 

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Julian Stark (pen name)<br />
<br />
Founder/Editor: Movies and Other Things<br />
<br />
http://julianstark-moviesandotherthings.blogspot.com

Last updated: 2010-04-10 07:26:08 by user07

New Moon: A Lesson from Fantasy Land for Future Sex Addicts

Is it the Pet Shop Boys Revival Band? No, it's your 21st Century Teen Hero Import from Transylvania

Slightly - but only slightly - less pathetic than the prequel, "Twilight," New Moon takes a turn at overthrowing not only the mythology of vampires, but now also that of Werewolves.
 
True to the motto, "If you don't want to be a vampire (like the your 1.5 billion peers between ages 8 and 14), try wanting to be a werewolf", you will only roll your eyes about half as much through this movie (as you did in Twilight) if you're anywhere above (or below) that age range.
 
Being someone who tries not to utterly waste even an hour and a half of my life without learning at least something from it, I'll give the movie credit for this much: it will be perfect prep for what you might become a few years later in your life, I mean, way after you'll be over your present plight of either "I want to be a vampire," or "I'm in love with someone who thinks they're a vampire:" a sex addict. And that's a reality about 99% more real than anything this movie deals with, so some day you might actually have to face it.

That might be a good time to remember "Twilight" and "New Moon" and how the dude just would have loved to bite her, but he was being a good little vampire: he didn't. And so should you. I mean, NOT do it. Bite her. Or whatever. When you've become a sex-addict.

Recommendations: The Matrix , Fratello sole, sorella luna , The Visual Bible: The Gospel of John

There IS no spoon!

Last updated: 2010-04-08 16:17:23 by McDozer

New Moon Release

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Rafael Solece

Last updated: 2010-04-01 06:08:51 by user07

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009 Film)

The Twilight Saga: New Moon is a 2009 American romantic fantasy film which is based on Stephenie Meyer's 2006 novel New Moon. It is a sequel to 2008's Twilight film series and, which is also based on Meyer's previous novel. Summit Entertainment greenlit the sequel in late November 2008, following the early success of Twilight. The film was directed by Chris Weitz, it stars Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan, Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen, and Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon Plot

The film start on Bella Swan 18th birthday wakes up from a dream in which she sees herself as an old woman. She expresses her distaste as growing older than her boyfriend Edward Cullen who is a vampire who stopped aging physically at 17. Despite her lack of enthusiasm, Edward's adoptive family throws Bella a birthday party. While unwrapping a gift, Bella gets a paper cut, causing Jasper, to become overwhelmed by her blood's scent and attempt to kill her. Realizing the danger that he and his family pose to Bella, Edward ends their relationship, and the Cullens leave Forks, Washington permanently.

Edward's departure leaves Bella heartbroken and depressed for months. However, when her father, Charlie, wants her to live with her mother in Florida, Bella agrees to spend time with her friends. After seeing a movie with Jessica, Bella sees a group of men on motorcycles. This reminds her of when Edward previously rescued her from an assault, and she sees his image warning her to stay away. Bella discovers that thrill-seeking activities evoke Edward's preserved image. She is also comforted by her deepening friendship with Jacob Black, a cheerful companion who eases her pain over losing Edward. When Jacob is unable to see Bella for weeks, she discovers that he is a werewolf, an age-old enemy of vampires. Jacob's pack members are on constant patrol for Victoria, a vampire searching to kill Bella due to the death of her mate, leaving Jacob little time to spend with her. Alone again, Bella returns to seeking thrill-inducing activities.

Through a series of mis-communications, Edward believes Bella has killed herself. Distraught over her supposed suicide, Edward flees to Italy to provoke the Volturi, a powerful vampire coven capable of killing him, by exposing himself in the sunlight. Alice and Bella rush to Italy to save Edward, and arrive just in time to stop him. However, the Volturi determine that Bella, a human who knows that vampires exist, must either be killed or transformed into a vampire herself. Alice stops them from killing her by sharing her premonition with Aro, a Volturi elder who is able to read thoughts, in which Bella has been transformed. Returning to Forks, Edward tells Bella that he always loved her and only left to protect her. She forgives him, and the Cullens vote in favor of Bella being transformed into a vampire, to Edward and Jacob's dismay. Edward gives Bella a choice: either she lets Alice change her after their graduation, or, if Bella agrees to marry him, he will change her himself. However, Jacob reminds Edward of the treaty the Cullens made with the Quileutes: they will not attack each other, as long as the Cullens never bite a human.

Movie Review : The Twilight Saga: New Moon

New Moon was fantastic. The cinematography was way better, the color was improved, the story was great, and it is a romance story, not a supernatural movie!
 

http://www.favorite-movie-review.blogspot.com

Booze Revooze: A Drinker's Skewed View of TWILIGHT 2: NEW MOON

Final Proof: 1½ Shots

You know how you drink with vampires? A new one comes into the Bar None every minute and there are so many of them because people will always want to be accepted and they figure if they join a vampire clique they’ll be automatically cool. What they don’t realize is every group has losers and leaders, the ins and the outs, the cool and the cold. An ass in a vampire costume is not hip, just an anemic in a black suit. Some vampires suck and others suck.  The Twilight Saga: New Moon sucks, even if it is a vampire movie.

Have i told you i’m a vampire? Yeah, i don’t talk about it much but i’m among friends here. i’m not the kind of vampire that puts on makeup, drinks Bloody Marys and wears my dead heart on my sleeve as i sulk around twisting my soul all day. i’m the kind of vampire that’ll get you drunk and suck your innocence right out of you. Point being, i’m more generous with vampire movies than any other genre. The problem is, New Moon isn’t a vampire movie, it’s a teen romance. Twilight  School Musical without the music.

Even Miss Demeanor hated it, and she never hates movies.

i’m not gonna drive a stake in New Moon. Making fun of the tragic script, crappy special effects and acting that basically boils down to one facial expression shot at different angles for over 2 hours is just too easy for my mad skills.  Instead, i’d like to address all the younger vampires who have just walked into the bar.

Kids, vampires are alcoholics. They both need to drink to live, live mostly at night, are social outcasts labelled as monsters, feel like crap in the morning, have difficulties in relationships with those who are not of our kind… If you really want to be a vampire, the best way to start is to step up to the bar and let me pour you a glass of blood red wine.

Before we go deeper into the Den of Iniquity, i’m gonna have to card Dakota Fanning here. At 15, she’s jailbait so there won’t be any slips or see-throughs. She is a cutie, though, and does a better job with her brief appearance than any of the others she shares the screen with.


Sex: 2 Shots

No nudity in the movie. Nothing even approaching nudity. Nothing even thinking about having a layover in the same country as nudity. Honestly, the hottest thing about this movie is knowing that Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning kiss each other in the upcoming film, The Runaways (due out next year).

The New Moon talent is in the beauty, not on the screen. So go ahead and enjoy these pictures for free instead of shelling out 10 bones to see 2+ hours of crap.

There were some brief shots of Kristen Stewart’s butt in jeans and one scene where they have her running in slo-mo. She has this great mouth with Cupid bow lips, and i also like her voice, which is pretty raspy for a 19-year-old. Imagine how cool she’ll sound when she starts smoking and drinking whiskey older than she is…

Kristen Stewart Comments On My Review

Drink: 0 shots

The word ‘beer’ is pronounced once in the movie, when a motorcycle hood tries to pick up Bella.

Rock & Roll: 3½ Shots

The soundtrack is pretty decent, though the two songs i’ve posted here are the best. The entire soundtrack fills out something like this…

1. Death Cab For Cutie – Meet Me On The Equinox
2. Band of Skulls - Friends
3. Thom Yorke - Hearing Damage
4. Lykke Li - Possibility
5. The Killers - A White Demon Love Song
6. Anya Marina - Satellite Heart
7. Muse - I Belong To You [New Moon Remix]
8. Bon Iver & St. Vincent - Rosyln
9. Black Rebel Motorcyle Club - Done All Wrong
10. Hurrican Bells - Monsters
11. Sea Wolf - The Violet Hour
12. Ok Go - Shooting The Moon
13. Grizzly Bear (with Victoria Legrand) - Slow Life
14. Editors - No Sound But The Wind
15. Alexandre Desplat - New Moon (The Meadow)

The trippy thing is, i’m not a huge Robert Pattinson fan because the only gift he has for acting is his good looks. Imagine my surprise (and  chagrin), then, when i found out he’s an extremely talented singer. On top of that, i love the style of song he sings. It makes me feel like a teenage girl to say i’m a Rob Pattinson (he bills himself as ‘Rob’ when  it’s for singing) fan, but there you have it. We can’t choose the music we like… Here, i think we have a couple tunes of his on the juiced-box…let me know what you think.

Boring Technical Crap

Written by:

Stephenie Meyer  (the novel)

Melissa Rosenberg (the screenplay)

Directed by: Chris Weitz

Starring

Kristen Stewart – Bella Swan

Anna Kendrick – Jessica

Christian Serratos – Angela

Ashley Greene – Alice Cullen

Rachelle Lefevre – Victoria

Nikki Reed – Rosalie Hale

Dakota Fanning – Jane

Noot Seear – Heidi

Robert Pattinson – Edward

Bottom Line

Don’t see it.

(Read Less...)

Al K Hall<br />
Functional Alcoholic Slurperson<br />
(No, REALLY. Google &amp;quot;Slurperson&amp;quot; if you don't believe me.)

Last updated: 2010-03-31 20:23:28 by user08

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Bella's got boy trouble! Bite me, claw me, any way you want me. Kill me now so we can be together!

One Word Movie Review: GOOD

The Twilight Saga: New Moon is the much-anticipated sequel to last year's big teen hit, Twilight based on the best-selling books by Stephenie Meyer. The Romeo and Juliet theme of doomed lovers takes on a new twist with the introduction of the undead to this suicide tragedy. The "family" conflict between the Montagues and Capulets have morphed into vampires and werewolves fighting to keep Bella and Edward apart. As the young, mostly female audience watched the beautiful, depressing lovers on screen, there was laughter, sighs and gasps; all the sounds of success for this story about love and obstacles and why two people who deeply love each other can't get together.

Shakespeare's story of star-cross'd lovers is referenced several times as the movie moves towards the same "she's dead so I'll kill myself" lover's mix-up. Will it end with two lovers truly dead, undead or somewhere in between? Given there is a third movie, Eclipse being filmed back-to-back with New Moon, the ending is not as final as Shakespeare's play, but then, as brilliant as the Bard was, he never thought to write sequels. The ending resolves Bella and Edward's dilemma; whether their doomed relationship is better if they stay separated or stick together - gosh I wonder which it is - but this movie ultimately is the set-up for Eclipse.

The look of the movie is moody and depressing, reflecting Bella's painful "hole in her chest" but resolves with a startling change of pace to Italy and the ancient vampire council, the Volturi (not the more-familiar Volare). The effects are better, the werewolves bring a new animal vitality to the story in contrast to the pale, unhealthy vampires and Bella's character is front and center throughout as she dances between her desire to sacrifice her soul for true love or crawling into a permanent fetal state to cope with Edward's crushing rejection.

There is really no mystery why every male character has the hots for Bella, as one character states quite simply, "you are so mouth-watering". Everyone looks great as they suffer under their burden of secrets and repressed emotions. In the end, as I enjoyed this movie with a theater full of teenage girls, I realized the story isn't important at all. They care more about sharing the emotional state of the characters and how hot they look in their misery rather than the details of what was going to happen next.

The Story

The movie starts with a new moon, although the moon is not pivotal to the werewolves transformation as in other movies. The sun is still the vampire's enemy so we return to the dreary, cloudy Northwest where Bella attends high school and Edward Cullen and his family decide to move on, as the community starts to notice, after 10 years, that no one in their family ages at all.  Edward decides to "save" Bella by breaking off their relationship and putting distance between them. Of course, this just makes her more vulnerable and emotionally devastated, curling up into a ball on the forest floor after she gets the news.

Bella sits in her room for months until her dad threatens to ship her to Florida to live with her mother. That shakes her out of her funk and she starts hanging around with a younger guy, Jacob who has a werewolf gene and is just going through the transformation. Turns out, werewolves hunt vampires and kill them, so this comes in handy when Bella is threatened by some old foes from the first movie. She remains alive long enough for Edward to think she's dead and he decides (like Romeo) to kill himself now that she's gone.

Of course, killing yourself isn't easy when you're already undead, so you have to travel to Italy and ask the high council to do it for you. Then you have to be saved by your girlfriend who isn't really dead and we discover she is "special" after all, with abilities to resist vampire power. Of course we all knew she was something special but now we know how she could hang around the suckers all this time and not lose her mind, just her heart.  Thankfully, as all this complicated depression and transformation take place, there are a few characters who add comic relief, namely Bella's high school friends and her poor dad, who is totally out of touch with how to help his daughter.

The audience laughed at the last line of the movie, partly in surprise and partly in appreciation of the absurdity of it, after all these two have been through. There will be more to come next year, more long camera pans of hand-holding in the grass, soulful looks of pained frustration and hopefully, a little more satisfying resolution of this relationship than Edward's criteria for Bella, "You give me everything just by breathing..."

The Genre

The doomed lovers romance was big in Shakespeare's day and remains a tried and true formula today. The "surprise" success of the Twilight series is not really all that shocking, given the alternatives for teens these days. After AIDS, rampant teenage pregnancy and now H1N1, the world of intimacy and sex is all about what you cannot do these days. The theme of extreme danger the more our lovers are together is a compelling storyline; especially if unbridled passion includes the high probability of ripping out your jugular or clawing your face off.

All romances are structured to be together-apart-together, and with the second movie, we've done this twice now. Hey, love is frustrating, confusing, passionate and dangerous.  This is a movie formula which clicks when the characters have the right look and connect with an audience yearning for this star-cross'd journey of tragedy and triumph. Oh, and it helps if the guys take off their shirts a lot, to a rippling chorus of sighs from the target audience.

The Overall Quality

The pacing of New Moon is slow, the atmosphere damp and cloudy and the focus on Bella's depression is, well, depressing.  However, the grey palette highlights the few dramatic moments when red blood is spilled and really pays off when the story moves to Italy and the brilliant sunshine and tile roofs of Montepulciano. Tourism in this small, atmospheric town should jump as fans make the pilgrimage to the historic home of the Volturi.

The director over-uses the slow-motion camera as characters make an entrance or do battle.  Add in the many long, slow-spinning shots of our lovers lying in the grass or sitting in a chair staring out the window and it shocks you when action finally jumps out at you. The werewolves look great as big nasty brutes but not in the extremely repulsive style seen in other movies such as Underworld. These are magnificent animals with a screen majesty befitting their role of guardians against the undead.

Finally, the acting elevates the material with Kristen Stewart basically carrying the movie on her sacrificial shoulders as she begs the vampires to bite her. The minor characters all make the most of their opportunities, with standout performances by Ashley Greene as Edward's sister, Anna Kendrick as Bella's sardonic girlfriend, Billy Burke as Bella's dad and the great Michael Sheen as the head vampire, Aro. One feels there's a lot more going on behind these characters, by the performances of these actors.  Personally, I would like to know what Edward's sister or Bella's dad is up to in their spare time between comforting Bella in her time of need.

Movie/Market Analysis

MarketBOB’s sentiment indicators, the GQS (Genre, Quality, Story) rate The Twilight Saga:  New Moon an emotional BULL. If you are a dad wondering what your teenage daughter is watching these days, rest assured she's getting an education in the dangers of love. In fact, it is remarkable how much good advice Bella receives in this movie (which she ignores) but audiences can soak in. Even if the messages are subliminal (men are wolves and blood suckers so be aware of what you're getting involved with), parents can take comfort knowing the Twilight movies provide visual reinforcement to girls about how tough it is to find a normal guy out there.

Even though there is some controversy over Bella's subservient character (please take my soul, my love), she is miles ahead of the old Clueless role models of years gone by, when girls just wanna have fun.

Super Marcey's New Moon Review

Rating: 2/5

Yes it is no secret I am not a fan of Twilight, so why did I go and watch the sequel? Curiosity mainly, but also it felt wrong saying something was bad when I hadn't actually seen it. I need to be justified in that, I do believe you can't judge something right unless you have seen/heard it. So finally I bit the bullet and watched New Moon, I was actually hoping it would be an improvement from Twilight, sadly however it was not. Twilight I felt was a bad film, I just did not think it was very good at all, average at best and certainly not targeted at me. I found enjoyment out of it from how unintentionally hilarious it was. Bad acting, bad dialogue, you know the usual stuff, there were a few decent scenes and I felt there was a lot more chemistry between the characters of Bella and Jacob. And then the vampire's which should be cool, became extremely uncool and they sparkled and glittered in the sun instead of bursting into flames like the normal vampires do. Now I am all for having interesting mythos with vampires, changing it up, but this was just ridiculous and felt so childish that it was almost an insult, even to younger ones. Now New Moon is no different, the mythos Stephanie Meyer has created are obviously still present, but as a film I felt New Moon was a let down and that Twilight is actually better.


New Moon picks off where Twilight left off, Edward and Bella are together, happily it seems. Bella is having her birthday, and the Cullens are celebrating with her and she has mostly been welcomed to the family. A terrible scene which I laughed so hard at sees Bella get a paper cut (yes a paper cut) which drives the so called vampires crazy for blood. Fearing for her Edward decides to leave Bella (Such a smart idea considering a dangerous vampire Victoria wants to kill her and leaving town leaves her vulnerable, so smart I know), the entire family pack up and leave, as you know someone might notice them not aging and all. Bella is depressed without Edward and she becomes stupid and rebellious, in some really badly done scenes I might add. This leads her to go back to her friend Jacob for comfort, you think yes they might get together, seeing as there is actually chemistry here. But Jacob has a secret and he too leaves Bella, but it isn't long before she needs saving and she finds out Jacob's secret he can turn into a wolf on command. Nothing much happens, and suddenly Edward thinks Bella is dead and he wants to kill himself by revealing he is a vampire infront of the Vulturi who are a clan living in Italy.

I am sorry to say it actually pained me to write that, the story itself is awfully silly and it does not make a lot of sense. I haven't read New Moon so I have no idea how much they kept in or not. But New Moon was boring, not much really happens at all. They like to show off shirtless boys, purposely to entertain the young 13 year old girls who swoon over them. It felt so unnecessary and I honestly didn't care to see it all the time. The acting in this is basically just as bad as it was in the first, I thought Taylor Lautner as Jacob improved but then he had some scenes (poorly written) he really struggled with and I felt for him. Robert Pattinson who is not in this much was basically the same as the first, he is just pretty terrible as Edward, he got better in Twilight as it went on, but it doesn't help he has zero chemistry with Kristen Stewart and their romance I can't buy at all. Sad thing is, in other role Robert is a decent actor, but this material is so awful he can't really manage. Kristen Stewart can't emote, she has two facial expressions, showing her teeth and mouth closed. She doesn't do much of anything else, and she faired no better either, she struggles with the material and having zero chemistry with Pattinson really kills it. Stewart and Lautner have the chemistry and their scenes at least for the most part worked, there are some really bad scenes which had me laughing though (she calls him beautiful after hitting her head). The only one I think does a pretty good job and she was hardly in it (again I thought she was good in Twilight too) was Ashley Greene as Alice Cullen, I wish we had more of her in this film. Anna Kendrick is such a waste here, she's proving to be a great actress and now an Oscar nominee, but she wasn't really good here either. The Vulturi who were heavily promoted, are barely in this, they looked alright and Michael Sheen was awesome, he walked through this and you could see he was enjoying himself. Dakata Fanning did the same, you could see she was having a good time and she quite worked. These two with their tiny roles, acted better then the main three have in all two films.

I can't help but feel this series is just too silly and ridiculous for me, I tried reading Twilight and it was awful. Stephanie Meyer I am sorry love you are not talented, but hey props to you for getting a money maker. I guess you don't need talent to make it, and Twilight isn't exactly aimed at me, despite the fact it has 'vampires' and 'werewolves' (and they aren't really actually). It isn't horror, it might be horrible but it is not horror. This is something aimed at young teens, giving them a star crossed romance with a difference. But I can't help but feel it is not a good thing for them to be reading, Bella is 16/17 and Edward is 109 (just because he looks young does not make him young), and is this saying it is okay for young girls to be with much, much older men? Did Meyer even consider that? Normally with our vampire romances, they are with adults, here they are teenagers so much younger. I wont even go into the gross and disgusting element from the fourth book involving a baby. I don't think I will ever understand the Twilight appeal, the story I can't buy, the romance is awful and as I said I didn't feel it, they have zero passion for each other. Robert Pattinson spends these films looking like he wants to vomit, for me he just isn't that attractive. If people want to watch this solely for his looks, thats fine, just admit it. Taylor Lautner is a fine looking lad, but he's too young for me, these guys are just not something I would obsess over. Their actual characters I find annoying, not likable and same with Bella. She really treated Jacob quite badly in the end with this film and he stood there and took it. Not exactly a good role model, however I think we're supposed to forgive that because Meyer puts in the whole 'no sex before marriage' which is promoting that teenagers shouldn't have sex. No but apparently they should date much older men, yes makes no sense. Unfortunately my review has turned into a huge rant, and I need to stop now before I have an essay!


(First written on March 11 2010, first published at SuperMarcey.com)

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Recommendations: Moon (Duncan Jones, 2009), Milk, Hurt Locker, The (Kathryn Bigelow, 2009)

Last updated: 2010-03-11 02:59:08 by SuperMarcey

new moon

oh my god, i’m in love with you and you’re a vampire.  please don’t leave me.

i’m  a vampire and we can’t be together so i have to leave you.

oh, i’m so sad i wake my poor father up in the middle of the night screaming out for you.

hey, you’re not so bad.  i don’t care your a werewolf just please don’t leave me.

i’m sorry, i’m a werewolf i must leave you so you’ll be safe.

waaaa waaaaa waaaaaaa.

i’m sorry i left you.

no, i’m sorry i left her.

no, you left her.

but i’m sorry i left her.

waaaa waaaa waaaa.

okay.  i think i can get now why this thing is such a huge success with girls and women around the world.  it’s all about that obsessive kind of love we all get.  it feels like everything is life and death.  and that kind of feeling has an impact with women and girls.

but holy crikey this crap is just god awful.  would someone hire a script writer?  please.

the only person in this film that seems to have a freaking clue is the chick bella goes to the movies with.

bella is crying the whole time because people she loves keep leaving her.  while she’s leaving those who love her.

what a peice of crap.  it’s pretty.  it has some nice photography and even a witty line here and there.  “i guess the wolf’s out of the bag.”  being the best line in the movie.

if i had a negative rating, i would use it.  i could beseech you to not see this film.  but i know you are going to anyway.  and then you’ll come see it again.  and again.  and again.  this is why the terrorist want to kill us.  i almost want to kill myself for watching this thing.

the last trailer before the movie started was some other peice of romance drivel starring robert pattinson and i immediatly regretted staying to watch this thing til three in the morning.

jacob is freaking ripped though, i’ll tell ya that.  and he spend the entire movie shirtless.  something for you ladies out there.  and he looks great.  i mean, brother did some sit ups.  taylor lautner.  dude’s got a career in the wwe if he wants it.  i have a feeling we are going to be seeing this cat playing the hunky hero in lots of movies in the next few years.

hell, i think i’m getting a crush on him.

Cal Reed

NEW MOON

Basic Premise:

Bella and Edward are back. Bella is plagued with thoughts of aging while Edward is more concerned with simply keeping her alive. In order to do that, he makes himself absent. Her despair at his absence makes her turn to Jacob, who is having issues of his own. Nothing is going right and the things that are going wrong could get Bella killed.


Review:

Yup, I went to see it. Bite me. I like vampire movies. I'll watch any and every vampire movie. I may not like them (matter of fact I've seen some that redefined "suck" on so many levels that I want back the time I wasted watching them... The Immortal for instance *grumble grumble*) but I will watch them.

I first must say that I have not read the books (and have no intention of reading the books now that I've seen the movies... just the way I am). So I cannot speak about how well the movie kept to the books.

New Moon... I liked Jacob. I liked how we got to see more of him. I liked how we got to see less of Edward. I wasn't too keen on meeting the vampire council but knew they were around there somewhere.

The action sequences with the wolves rocked. That was the best part of the movie for me. Meyer created two worlds and squished them together and that means one of them will always be secondary. But I really love the wolves (maybe I might be biased) and wished they had gotten more air time.

There was angst (lots of it). If you saw the first movie, you knew there would be more. There were plenty of teenagers wishing their lives didn't suck (how's that any different than real life?). But it wasn't as annoying... (is that the word I want?) as Twilight. To me, the plot felt secondary in Twilight. In New Moon it was an under current throughout so it didn't just appear because the director needed to break up the angst a little.

Suffice to say (the long of and the short) if you liked the first one, you'll like the second one. If you hated the first one, then don't bother with the second. If you didn't watch the first one because you figured it would suck then... well you can see the pattern.

Since this is a sequel to a movie I wrote a review about previously, I feel like I should reference back to that review with some of the issues I had with the first movie. The actors have grown into the characters so there was no awkwardness in the beginning. The secondary characters didn't slow the plot but there were too many of them. I had a hard time keeping names straight and after a while I stopped caring and gave up.

Partial pet peeve -- New Moon had a prime time thriller ending. Not a cliffhanger but one of those surprises you would see at the end of a Buffy (or Angel) episode where someone says something shocking/unexpected and everything and everyone stops... roll credits. The plot of the movie ended with the obligatory allusions to the next movie, but the overall ending rankled just a little. It's not like I can tune in this time next week and find out what happened (no, I'm not going to read the books though I may read the wiki).

At least I know that the Twilight franchise will actually get to the next movie, unlike Golden Compass... that was supposed to have a sequel, right?

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Recommendations: Star Trek (2009), Avatar, 300

D. Renee Bagby<br />
Building New Realms of Passion<br />
http://dreneebagby.com

New Moon

So...I've been meaning to put up this post for a while now, but I guess better late than never. My name is Alexis and this is my first attempt at a movie review, so please don't compare me with the movie review experts, Joe and Chris O. A little about myself: I LOVE watching all sorts of movies (except horror movies!) and I have read the "Twilight" books, so I knew what I was getting into when I went to go see "New Moon."

So here is a little recap of the plot of "Twilight: New Moon." Warning - there are a few spoilers, but I realize if you haven't already seen the movies, you probably never will, so there's no harm. Here it goes. Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) in the previous movie, fall in love despite Bella finding out that Edward is a vampire (wow surprising). They go through the common ups and downs and eventually Bella almost gets killed by another vampire and Edward saves her blah blah blah..."New Moon" begins with Bella waking up on her birthday after having a nightmare about being her grandmother. It's after this that the audience really sees Edward - the wind blowing in his hair and rock music in the background causes either a cry of delight or a cry of pain in the tackiness of it all. Later Edward invites Bella to the Cullen's house to celebrate her birthday where she accidentally cuts herself and nearly gets attacked by Jasper, Edwards adoptive brother. After all this, Edward leaves Bella and tells her he doesn't love her anymore which leads to Bella having extreme depression. Later Bella gets to know Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), which is the source of the Team Edward vs. Team Jacob controversy, which is pretty much a contest over which guy is hotter, even though one is pasty and gross and the other looks like a five year old with a six pack...but anyways. Jacob Black is a Native American boy who lives on a reservation near Bella. They become friends over fixing a pair of motorcycles and slowly Bella becomes less depressed with Jacob's company. However, then Jacob becomes "sick" and doesn't want to hang out with Bella anymore, which then leads to Bella guessing that Jake is a werewolf (which is the natural opposite of the Vampire...go figure) and that she is being hunted by a vampire that wants revenge for Edward killing her mate in the previous movie. Then, Bella wanting a thrill, goes cliff-diving and almost drowns. After being saved by Jacob, she is visited by Edward's sister, Alice, who tells her that Edward is going to kill himself because he thinks she is dead. They race off and try to save Edward from exposing his sparkliness (vampires sparkle in sunlight) to the public and subsequent execution by the Vampire royal family, the Volturi. He almost succeeds (Edward shirtless = puking in mouth) but Bella saves him. However they are forced to meet the royal family and Edward is made to promise to change Bella into a vampire else the family will kill her/change her themselves. At last comes the end of the movie where Edward proposes to Bella and the audience squeals in delight. All is happy and good except for the threatening Jacob who is heartbroken over his loss of Bella to Edward.

So all and all, this movie was crap. Although there was about one believable part in the entire movie, Bella's depression, the rest was extremely tacky and, at points, painful. Also the fact that Jacob Black was shirtless for the majority of the movie makes me believe that most of the brain power for the script was put towards how often Jacob could have his shirt off instead of actual acting. The movie was pretty close to the book, but again the Team Edward vs. Team Jacob was extremely annoying. I'd say if you want to to have fun watching the movie, you are too late. Opening night was the closest you will ever get to an enjoyable experience with that movie (the people are AMAZING!) otherwise wait 10 years and buy it for 25 cents at a yard sale or read the book.

1 out of 4 stars

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

It's always fun to defy the odds.

That's what I did by seeing the new "Twilight" movie this weekend. Exit polling showed that four out of five audience members were female, which makes me part of a select group of men (too strong a word?) who sat pondering the romantic choices of Bella, a brooding high schooler courted by a vampire on one side and a werewolf on the other.

And I even liked the movie. Screw you, gender stereotyping!

The "Twilight" franchise is THE franchise in entertainment today. It's what Harry Potter was ten years ago: an absolute blockbuster of a book series that crosses every national boundary and translates easily and profitably to film. "New Moon" just opened to the third biggest weekend ever. (Behind "Dark Knight" and "Spider-Man 3.") And then there's the merchandising money. It all adds up to more cash than I want to think about.

I missed the first "Twilight" and haven't read any of the books. Maybe this worked to my advantage. I joined Bella's story in medias res, which is a good way to do it.

Bella's an eighteen year-old girl who lives in the Pacific Northwest and goes to high school with a family of vampires, one of whom, Edward, is her boyfriend. Edward is of course a teenage girl's idea of the perfect man: distant, soulful and devoted. He's also a hundred and nine years old, which makes him experienced and wise but still eminently castable with 23 year-old Robert Pattinson. Can't do better than that.

The tabloids report that Pattinson and Kristen Stewart/Bella are a real-life couple, which is a nice break for the series because their onscreen chemistry is excellent.

And it better be. The relationship between Bella and Edward motivates everything that happens in "New Moon." Here's the plot in short: Unwilling to subject Bella to the danger and heartbreak that inevitably come with dating a vampire, and unwilling to turn her into a vampire herself, Edward makes the difficult decision to withdraw from Bella's life. He and his family skip town.

Bella is devastated by this. She can find no consolation in life except... except!... for the company of Jacob, a burly teenage gearhead who turns out to be the werewolf of our premise.

These two of course fall for each other. Then Bella gets news that Edward is going to kill himself because he can't stand living without her and -- hoo boy! -- we've got an old-fashioned melodrama on our hands.

And there's nothing wrong with a good old-fashioned melodrama, especially if it's spiced up with modern genre conventions and some hip young actors. And a good score and decent special effects.

The movie does suffer from a few plot problems and half a dozen clunky lines of dialogue, but overall the craft of screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg -- who knows her way around melodrama, having written for the fun prime-time soap "The O.C." a few years ago -- and director Paul Weitz of the immortal "About a Boy" -- is competent at its worst and surprisingly artful at its best.

The love between Bella and Edward is big business these days, and why not? We were all teenagers once, and sometimes it's nice to revisit a mindset that insists love is all that matters, if only for a couple hours.

Does that make me less of a man?

Yeah, I figured.

SCORE:

How Accomplished: 80/100

How Much I Enjoyed: 83/100

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The Twilight Saga- New Moon

Sigh.........

And come to think I was looking forward to this after seeing the trailer. Sigh..... Why? Why would they do this? They had everything. An Oscar nominated director, a 50 million dollar budget, the greatness of Michael Sheen and a sex goddess named Taylor Lautner and they still managed to fuck it up.



No seriously girls.. you'd rather have the one on the left??

New Moon is kinda like Twilight only with werewolves this time. Edward (AHHHHHHHHHHH) decides he wants to leave Bella and Bella gets depressed. Bella hooks up with her bestfriend Jacob (AHHHHHHHHH) and then leaves him cause Edward wants to kill himself. End of movie.



Let me just start by saying that I officially hate Bella Swan. She is one of the most self centered, cock tease of a bitch I have ever had the misfortune to witness on a cinema screen. How is it that so many girls love her? In the real world, we call her type the psycho clingy girlfriend type. I mean she screams and cries, moaps and whines for a quarter of a year just cause she can't get what she wants. And just when there is someone who is stupid enough to like her, she goes and toy with his abs, rubs him, kisses him, tells him she loves him then leaves him for a 109 year old shiny vampire. God! Jesus Christ! And I love Kristen Stewart, she did some pretty nice movies pre-Twilight, but man she is really one note playing Bella.



One a more positive side.... er.. the production aspect of New Moon was nice. The effects and overall technical side of the movie were a huge improvement from the first movie. I loved the werewolves and the chase sequences in the film and the Vultori scene, but they were kinda brief. Chris Weitz did a nice job with the directing. But all that couldn't save this film.



I still can't see how Bella and Edward (AHHHH) like each other. Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson have absolutely no chemistry together.



Now Taylor Lautner on the other hand.. Hello, hunny you are one fine piece of wolf. The Bella/Jacob relationship is so much more believeable than with Cullen and it's safe for me to say that Lautner was the best performance in the movie aside from Billy Burke, Michael Sheen and Peter Facinelli. (That was not a complement okay, Taylor Lautner being the best actor in your movie is just saaad)



Melissa Rosenberg, she's the writer of both Twilight films and she was the writer of the last season of The O.C. God, she is one of the worst screen writers ever. New Moon had zero story, zero plot development and horrible horrible dialogue. Like:

Edward: "Bella, you breathing is my gift." (WTF)

I laughed so hard watching this movie. Even the fans were laughing at the embarrassing dialogue. The best was the final punchline of New Moon, the entire cinema just started laughing their asses of.



So to sum up New Moon.

1. To protect your bleeding girlfriend from your blood hungry vampire brother, knock her clean across the room and make her bleed more.

2. What happens when Bella haves her period?

3. Want your ex to come back to you? Jump off a cliff!

4. Native American kids are so poor they can't afford shirts.

5. Girls want pasty white boys who look like they are gonna cry or puke at any moment and have an aura of depression surrounding them over solid muscular tan dudes.

RATING: 2/10

NicholasC

Last updated: 2010-02-20 02:29:56 by user01

The Twilight Saga- New Moon

Sigh.........

And come to think I was looking forward to this after seeing the trailer. Sigh..... Why? Why would they do this? They had everything. An Oscar nominated director, a 50 million dollar budget, the greatness of Michael Sheen and a sex goddess named Taylor Lautner and they still managed to fuck it up.



No seriously girls.. you'd rather have the one on the left??

New Moon is kinda like Twilight only with werewolves this time. Edward (AHHHHHHHHHHH) decides he wants to leave Bella and Bella gets depressed. Bella hooks up with her bestfriend Jacob (AHHHHHHHHH) and then leaves him cause Edward wants to kill himself. End of movie.



Let me just start by saying that I officially hate Bella Swan. She is one of the most self centered, cock tease of a bitch I have ever had the misfortune to witness on a cinema screen. How is it that so many girls love her? In the real world, we call her type the psycho clingy girlfriend type. I mean she screams and cries, moaps and whines for a quarter of a year just cause she can't get what she wants. And just when there is someone who is stupid enough to like her, she goes and toy with his abs, rubs him, kisses him, tells him she loves him then leaves him for a 109 year old shiny vampire. God! Jesus Christ! And I love Kristen Stewart, she did some pretty nice movies pre-Twilight, but man she is really one note playing Bella.



One a more positive side.... er.. the production aspect of New Moon was nice. The effects and overall technical side of the movie were a huge improvement from the first movie. I loved the werewolves and the chase sequences in the film and the Vultori scene, but they were kinda brief. Chris Weitz did a nice job with the directing. But all that couldn't save this film.



I still can't see how Bella and Edward (AHHHH) like each other. Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson have absolutely no chemistry together.



Now Taylor Lautner on the other hand.. Hello, hunny you are one fine piece of wolf. The Bella/Jacob relationship is so much more believeable than with Cullen and it's safe for me to say that Lautner was the best performance in the movie aside from Billy Burke, Michael Sheen and Peter Facinelli. (That was not a complement okay, Taylor Lautner being the best actor in your movie is just saaad)



Melissa Rosenberg, she's the writer of both Twilight films and she was the writer of the last season of The O.C. God, she is one of the worst screen writers ever. New Moon had zero story, zero plot development and horrible horrible dialogue. Like:

Edward: "Bella, you breathing is my gift." (WTF)

I laughed so hard watching this movie. Even the fans were laughing at the embarrassing dialogue. The best was the final punchline of New Moon, the entire cinema just started laughing their asses of.



So to sum up New Moon.

/</gili style="text-align: left;"/>/giTo protect your bleeding girlfriend from your blood hungry vampire brother, knock her clean across the room and make her bleed more.
<li style="text-align: left;">What happens when Bella haves her period?
<li style="text-align: left;">Want your ex to come back to you? Jump off a cliff!
<li style="text-align: left;">Native American kids are so poor they can't afford shirts.
<li style="text-align: left;">Girls want pasty white boys who look like they are gonna cry or puke at any moment and have an aura of depression surrounding them over solid muscular tan dudes.

RATING: 2/10

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NicholasC

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON (2009)

BOTTOM LINE: Boring, long-winded, lifeless and corny, “New Moon” takes an otherwise good idea and creates a far below average film experience, with a love story that is excruciating to watch in its self-absorbed and clunky melodrama.

THE GOOD: “New Moon” starts with a strong and unique concept for a vampire film, thanks to the book upon which it is based. In this sequel, Bella (Kristen Stewart) is torn between her love for vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson) and werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner), while delving in to their worlds and the factors in which they are opposed. The film builds on its predecessor by expanding the love story and the world, and this is helped somewhat by the better technical execution of the images and editing; “New Moon” looks and feels more like a film than Twilight, with some clever filmmaking techniques such as the 360 degree camera move on Bella as she transitions through months of depression after Edward leaves her. If nothing else, “New Moon” is technically more accomplished than its predecessor.

THE BAD: The bad points for this film are almost too many to compress in to this review. Structurally, the film is something of a mess; it would seem the spine of it is the love triangle between Edward, Jacob and Bella but the film moves between this and other subplots with jarring transitions. Edward and Bella are doing great in the beginning, and then we are brought to one scene where he breaks up with her, without much warning except for a couple of perfunctory and arbitrary lines of dialogue explaining Edward’s actions. We then spend an inordinate amount of time on the developing relationship between Bella and Jacob, with both eventually spouting their words of love in some of the most long-winded and corny sequences in cinematic history, with dialogue worse than a soap opera, and blatant “look-at-me” shots of poor Taylor Lautner walking around without his shirt on. It then gets worse when the vampires return, again an arbitrary transition in story, and Bella finds she has to save Edward from a rather nasty death at the hands of the vampire elite in Rome. Again, more long winded sequences, culminating in Edward spouting how Bella is the best and only thing in his world, yada-yada-yada… Both Edward and Jacob are clearly suffering in their passion for Bella, but unfortunately this is completely unbelievable because Bella, as played by Kirsten Stewart, is one of the most boring and lifeless heroines committed to film. It is hard to imagine why any one would be that passionate over someone so average. Stewart’s performance is so lifeless that all of her character’s motivations seem stupid, particularly her ‘junkie’ tricks of doing dangerous things to keep Edward near her in spirit. The story being told in this film relies on performances to carry it dramatically, and the actors here have either been given no direction, not much to work with, or they checked their skills at the door when production started. All of this combined makes for a film that can be at times excruciating to watch in its corny silliness. If the film had thirty minutes cut from the running time it may have worked better, but not much. What is astonishing above all of this is that no one on the production of this film ever noticed how bad a product they were making. There is no excuse for this, given the resources behind the film and the seemingly good story implied in the plot. Or maybe they did not care; after all, the fans have spoken and the film is a huge hit.

RATING: 3/10

Todd Murphy <br />
http://www.allaboutmovies.net

Twilight Saga: New Moon

Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Let's be clear from the offset. New Moon isn't a good book. It's overlong, over-talky, and nothing much happens.
But what the director Chris Weitz has done, is turn the poor source material and change it into an entertaining, albeit over-long film. There are many good things about this film, but let's start off with the obvious.
Edward Cullen is hardly in it. Instead, after a disastrous incident involving a papercut, some blood, and a bloody thirsty Jasper, Edward decides he can't be around Bella (Kristin Stewart) anymore. He's afraid she's in danger, so ups sticks with the rest of the Cullen coven.
So Bella is left alone in Forks, turns into a veritable zombie, abandons her friends and doesn't leave the confines of her room. This is when she becomes close with Jacob Black, the 16 year old with biceps and abs that would put a young Arnie to shame.
The film centers around he relationship with Jacob (Taylor Lautner), who gives her a reason to carry on living without her favourite vamp. Soon she discovers he's hiding something, something big and hairy. He's a werewolf.
We're treated to some marvelous cinematography as we see the wolves give chase to Victoria, the red-headed vampire intent on taking Bella's life. The CGI effects, which looked ropey in the trailer, have thankfully been improved for the final cut.


So the film plods on at a good pace until the half way point where things crawl to a standstill. The film is clearly missing the visual style and awesome soundtrack that Catherine Hardwicke delivered with Twilight, but this can be forgiven in the final scenes when we are introduced to the rulers of the vampires: the Volturi.
Michael Sheen steals the film with his short appearance as Aro, head of the vampire 'royalty'. Dakota Fanning is perfectly cast as Jane, who's blood-red eyes and piercing stare make her look older than she really is.
It's a shame we don't get to see more of the Volturi, since the scenes are terrific, with some vampire-on-vampire fighting action thrown in too, something which would have livened up Stephanie Meyer's novel a bit more.
There is a lot for girls to love as we see the wolf-pack topless for most of the film, though for the few guys who are dragged along to see New Moon, its enough to make them retch.
Sadly, there is not enough humour in this film, as we're treated to a lot of blinking and serious frowns from the stars.
But the abrupt ending to the mammoth 2hr 33 min running time will make a lot of girls dying to see Eclipse, the second sequel.
Overall though, there's plenty for fans of the series to love, since it builds on the novel's weaknesses, but it won't preach successfully to the unconverted.
Eclipse will be released June 30th 2010.

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Recommendations: Inglourious Basterds (Quentin Tarantino, 2009)

The Twlight Saga: New Moon

Since I am not really wanting to do my homework assignment (I could still start it tomorrow no problem) and I haven’t updated in a like a month, I guess it is appropriate to start writing a new article for this blog of mine. And since I don’t feel like writing a significant article, I will review “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”, which has to be most insignificant movie I have ever seen. By now, it has been over a week since I have seen the film and my rage has a bit subsided, but I think “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” is worthy to get another rant out of me, one last time, before I try to forget it ever existed in the first place.

For those of you who haven’t read my review of the first film, I basically had no feeling towards it. I didn’t love it to death, and I didn’t hate it. In fact, it didn’t really affect me at all. I’ll admit that I was a little excited to see New Moon and see where this story was going. (For those of you males who just said “I don’t watch Twilight, Twilight is gay” please take off your shirt, look yourself in the mirror and bask in your faux, fabricated masculinity). So I went into the movie theater with expectations. Not high expectations by any means, but expectations nonetheless.

What an unfortunate situation I was in, for I was in store for what is one of the worst films I have ever seen. Seriously, I am not exaggerating. First off, what is with the title of the film? “The Twilight Saga: New Moon.” I am not angry that it’s called “New Moon” (I actually the naming convention of the books is pretty cool; Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn), but what is it with this super pretentious “The Twilight Saga”? Excuse me, but Twilight is anything but a “saga.” “Sagas” span huge amounts of time and are supposed to be EPIC. “Twilight” is not epic in any sense of the word. Sorry Bella, but your little romance doesn’t matter to anyone else but you.

Alright, so now let’s get down to why this movie sucks terribly. Well, I have to start somewhere so let’s just start. First off, the script was absolutely horrendous. A script, from first draft, to final draft, to shooting draft, goes through many hands. This gives those people with said hands and opportunity to read it and say “Hey wait, this is a piece of crap.” For some reason, no one on the New Moon staff did so, which makes this film the all time leader in stupid lines and non sequiters. Some of the lines in the film were painful. Yes, downright painful. The one I remember most is from a scene in which Mark, this lame-o, asks Bella to the movies. In classic “I’m a biotch who likes to lead guys on” form, Bella invites Jacob Black, her new puppy-love interest. So, all three of them go to see “Face Punch” (more like “Face-palm") and due to the graphic violence of the film, Mark has to get up and puke. After the film, Jacob and Bella are waiting for their sick friend. Then he arrives and this little exchange happens.

Mike: Well, I need to go home. I was feeling sick before the movie, okay?… (seeing a really angry Jacob) What? What’s your problem?

Jacob Black: (angry) You’re my problem. Feeling sick? Maybe you need to go to the hospital. Do you want me to put you in the hospital?

What the hell? Seriously? How terrible is that? There are such lines throughout the entire film, which made me want to writhe in my chair like I was under torture, and writhed I would have if I weren’t half asleep the whole time.

In one such scene, which I also can’t seem to get out of my head, Edward tells Bella that he is leaving her. I don’t remember what he says besides the normal “I’m leaving you. . .this’ll be the last time you’ll see me.” Bella responds with some of the worst acting I have ever seen. She doesn’t even cry! Who the hell wouldn’t cry at the love of their teenage life suddenly saying “you will never see me again!”? She just says “No. . .no. . .you can’t. . .” but good God it is so terrible.

Kristen Stewart, the actress who portrays the confused cock-tease Bella, is not the only one guilty of bad acting. Nearly EVERYONE else in the film gives a terrible performance. The only characters I liked were the father and his friends. The father, Charlie, is like “what the hell is going on the on?” the whole time, and he was the only one I could really connect with, for I was also disoriented and generally not liking what was happening. Edward simply curves his face-muscles into a “oh my god I am in so much pain face” and it stays on the whole movie. The actor who plays Jacob manages well to randomly take off his shirt and be a douchebag.
The soundtrack, which I thought woulda been, I dunno, dramatic music reflecting on what has happened in the scene, etc. But no, we get this stupid lame electronic mopey music. I mean, a song by Deathcab for Cutie? Good grief.

After I saw this abomination (I actually feel sorry for the film this movie was shot on, or for the gigabytes it was loaded onto), I went out to eat at this burger joint with my folks. I can remember it clear as day, me sitting in that booth, nearly squeezing my burger apart, still furious that film sucked so hard. Now, I’m not just hating this film because it’s Twilight, but because it was a terrible, terrible piece of filmmaking.

When the company wanted to make “New Moon,” the director of the first film wanted more time to work on it. She had big plans for the sequel. However, the company threw her out because she couldn’t do the movie fast enough. So some dude came in to direct this one. When asked if he wanted to shoot the third film of the installment, he had to decline because HE WAS STILL IN POST-PRODUCTION for the second one! Now, I don’t know if you all know out there, but each process of making a film takes a lot of time and thought, and holy crap, how can one be finishing up a movie and be directing one at the same time? Frackin' impossible. So, I was chillin’, looking stuff up on the internet and noticed that the next film is coming out in June of next year. Not counting November, that is seven months from the release of the second film. Does anyone else feel like they are rushing these movies? Just a little?

By now I have given this film too much of my life. The moments I spent ranting about it are moments of my life I will never get back, and to honest, that really saddens me. This movie was crap, and the studio knew that. Everyone knew that is was a piece of crap, but no one GAVE a crap because it was going to make them filthy rich. WHICH IT DID. To my dismay, “New Moon” broke ALL of the “The Dark Knight”’s box office records. Re-stating this fact makes me want to cry a little, for I can feel my heart breaking. I’m going to go off like Bella now and be depressed forever and lead some other dude on when he really has no chance and be a dork.

“New Moon” killed part of my soul. Seriously, it did. My soul is dead now. . . .

Recommendations: (500) Days Of Summer (Marc Webb, 2009)

Last updated: 2010-01-11 11:51:43 by rammfan518

new moon

judging by today’s porn, a man’s dream is to be in a room filled with young fertile females. well, i was in there. in that room. and it was no dream; there was a lot of screaming when any sort of male flesh was shown. it hurt my ears.

the actual movie was pretty good, as expected: a continuation of the love story outlined in the first movie. i could comment on the differences between the movie and the book, but perhaps it’s better to let someone else perform that lovely task. someone with a vagina.

my biggest gripe with the first movie was that kristen stewart sighed a lot. you may not have noticed it the first time you watched it, but you will now. and it will ruin it for you. i don’t know if she has emphysema or something, but she’s exhaling, a lot. for no reason. maybe something was stuck in her nose. she seems to have resolved that issue for this movie, and my gripe is no more.

another big change is that they have money. no, i don’t mean the actors or characters, i mean the film. i noticed it while watching, and was happy to find that the internets supports my finding: wikipedia speaks of a $37 million budget for the first film. for new moon, it says $50 to $70 million. that’s right, 50 TO 70. they’re not really sure. maybe the accountants are arguing about whether or not the director’s hookers are to be included in the budget. $20 million on hookers is no joke. in any case, the budget was higher than the first, and you can tell.

i rate this movie 5.2/7. i was pretty happy with it, and i laughed at the many humorous parts in the movie. it loses some points because i disagreed with some of what they changed in the film, and because of the high school girls in the audience.

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Movie Review: New Moon (2009)

  3.5/5 stars!

I have caught Twilight fever. 

Well, not really.  I am more intrigued by why the Twilight Saga has captivated so many people as opposed to the story itself.
And after watching the second movie in the Saga, New Moon, I must admit I still don’t really get it.  Is it the seemingly perfect love between a teenage girl and a vampire?  Or is it the fact that their relationship is dangerous and forbidden?  Or is it just because the vampire is (according to most sources) an incredibly hot dude?  Or is it all of the above?

I don’t know the answer, but what I do know is that New Moon is actually a pretty decent movie.  An average film overall, but in context, a fairly strong sequel.  In my humble opinion, it’s certainly not worthy of the 1-star status it has been receiving from some critics.  In any event, hardcore fans will undoubtedly lap it up and box office numbers should be strong simply from multiple repeat viewings from young girls (and from what I hear oldies too).

New Moon picks up from where Twilight left off, with teenager Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and her dreamy, ‘perfect’ vampire boyfriend Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson, aka ‘Rob Patz’) rolling in the bliss of love.  Those who have read the book will know what happens next, but I was quite annoyed with how the previews effectively show you the essence of the first half-hour of the movie and then reveals the major twists and secrets of the entire film!  If you’ve been lucky enough to avoid the previews then I’m sure you will find New Moon a more pleasurable experience.


Anyway, I will start with the bad.  New Moon is a film that first and foremost tries to satisfy the desires of its fans, and that means romance comes before everything else.  While this may be great for its target audience, the problem with this is that if you’re not into the romance then the film falls apart very quickly.  Or alternatively, the movie may start to feel boring and tedious.  There’s a mushiness to Bella and Edward’s relationship that only a limited section of the public can truly appreciate, and I can totally understand why viewers might be turned off by some of the painful dialogue (especially at the start) – but bear in mind that most of it is apparently reproduced verbatim from the novel.  Besides, dialogue is always less excrutiating on the page than it sounds on the screen.

New Moon also assumes that you know the story (or at least the first film) quite well.  There are several references to characters, abilities, relationships and specific incidents from its predecessor, and your recollection and knowledge of these things are somewhat taken for granted.  With my shocking memory, it did take a while for me to remember what the heck was going on.

There are also some things that weren’t explained very well by the movie which may or may not turn out to be gaping plot holes.  I’ll have to reserve judgment on that until I seek clarification from a genuine Twilight fan.  And there’s of course a few unintentionally funny bits simply because the film takes the whole vampire hierarchy thing so seriously.

And now the good.  At its heart, New Moon is a good story.  It might not be entirely original but there is a charm to it that makes it so appealing.  It’s almost entrancing.  For me, a big part of the film’s allure was the development of Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), who is effectively the male lead in this one.  Apart from his amazing physical transformation (which prompted him to remove his shirt at every opportunity), Jacob’s emotional growth is also well-developed.  With the two lead characters (Edward and especially Bella) exhibiting selfish and unimpressive personality traits, Jacob becomes the character that viewers can empathise with the most.
Hello!



I may have said earlier that New Moon is heavy on the romance, but there was still plenty of room for action.  There were a number of exciting sequences littered throughout the film, most of them involving ample amounts of CGI.  I wouldn’t quite call New Moon an action film, but from what I can recall it has a lot more action than Twilight.  And the final climatic scenes were done much better in the sequel than the original.

Another strength of the film was its minor characters.  Again, with Bella and Edward being so serious about everything (as demonstrated by the constant heavy breathing from Kristen Stewart and the permanently pained expression on Robert Pattinson’s face), comic relief came in just the right doses from an assortment of other characters.  From the members in Jacob’s clan (Chaske Spencer, Tyson Houseman, Alex Meraz, Kiowa Gordon and Bronson Pelletier) to Bella’s friends Jessica (Anna Kendrick) and Mike (in terrific performance by Michael Welch) to Bella’s dad Charlie (Billy Burke) to the rest of the Cullen gang (in particular Jackson Rathbone as Jasper), almost every one of these minor characters hit the spot in their brief moments on screen.  On the other hand, unfortunately, the talents of Michael Sheen and Dakota Fanning were criminally underused in their respective roles, leading to weird, comical appearances that just didn’t feel right.

At the end of the day, New Moon succeeds in what it set out to do, and that is to please its fan base.  For non-hardcore fans, I think there is still enough for an enjoyable experience.  There’s romance, friendship, action, suspense and a dash of timely humour.  What more could you ask for in what is, essentially, a teen flick?

3.5 stars out of 5!

PJM

Last updated: 2010-01-05 08:55:26 by user04

The Twilight Saga: New Moon — 2

So I would first like to say that I had no intentions of ever seeing this movie, but my girlfriend has read all the books (mind you before the thought of turning them into movies ever occurred) so she had to go see it. I’ve taken her to quite a few bad movies, or ones that she did not want to see before, so I guess this was revenge on her part.

Now this movie was not as bad as I thought it would be. But even saying that it was by no means good. It may just have been tolerable because during the slow parts where no one was talking I just kept thinking back to the Twilight Rifftrax where when nothing was happening on screen they kept screaming out “LINE!” it translated over to this one just fine.

You know what pissed me off about this movie more than anything? The fucking director has no idea how to zoom out. Most of the time we are staring at a complete head on screen, from top to bottom, hair to chin. Hardly is there any other view. It’s like the floating head syndrome in movie posters. It fit certain times, but when you are talking about rebuilding a motorcycle, what’s so important in facial features that I have to be in all of the actors’ personal bubbles? It got so annoying that I wanted to move further back in the theatre just to not stare up all of the actors’ nostrils.

The other thing that got to me was that when I went to the movie, I was actually shocked to not be run over by a gaggling horde of 14-16 girls saying ‘like’ in every sentence. There were actually more 40 year old woman. That shocked me. What shocked me more was that when a man had his shirt off all of the woman screamed like they were in a strip club. I’m sorry; the kid is like 16, Way to go pedophiles. Now I need that fucker that trolls internet chat rooms trying to find guys who are pedophiles to just sit through one showing of this and see if he gets turned on by it. It got to me after about the first time, but it went on for about 16 times+.

No the story. What got to me the most, was that if you are going to imitate an old movie/story/Shakespearian play. Then NEVER REFERENCE IT IN YOUR MOVIE/BOOK! For the love o god, as soon as I saw it, I knew what was going down. Well not the exact manner in how it would play out, but if a fucking snail brainstormed the plot then they would have been able to figure it out.

Now the werewolves were awesome, they actually felt like true werewolves, with the exception that they can change at will, not by moonlight, and that they must follow the alpha’s rules and instructions. I’m sorry, they were badass, but why does this bitch have to change all of the rules of monsters? In the next movie we will have Frankenstein’s monster that wasn’t created with electricity, but was made out of 13,000 cut up dead hamsters. Oh and one toucan. WTF!?!?!?!?!?! STOP CHANGING SHIT BITCH! IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! With that out of the way, the wolves were still massively bad ass, and they made the vampires look like pussies.

Now the vampires finally got into the hierarchy of the way they rule. And let me tell you I was disappointed. First off there are only 3 high seats on the council, and 2 of them seem to have no reason for being there whatsoever, with the exception of being a yes man to the main vamp. They are boring and had to read what they are trying to get at. On top of that the main guy seems rather weak since he never displays why or how he got to that position. But a bonus point goes to sending in a touring group there, so that they could feed on them. That was genius.

All in all, unless you are an obsessive fangirl, avoid this movie like the plague. Yes it was better than the first one, but it is still as equally as boring as the first one. Thankfully some of the Rifftrax humor translated well into this one otherwise I might have fallen asleep.

Base Score = 4
+1 for being able to translate some of the Rifftrax into this one
-1 for seeing up the actors noses for most of the movie
+1 for pedophiles
-1 for gaggling at an underage kid wayyy to many times.
-1 for imitating something else and actually putting what you are imitating into the movie/book
+1 for the werewolves being awesome
-1 for that bitch Stephanie Meyer changing all creatures of legend.
-1 for a shitty high council for Vampires.
= 2/10

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Last updated: 2010-01-12 02:07:20 by Tolll

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

I just looked back and realized that it was exactly 1 year ago that I watched  and reviewed Twilight, a film that  I had no intention of actually enjoying, but somehow did. The Twilight Saga:  New Moon, however isn’t os lucky.
Apart from being so overly dramatic and whiny, this film proves that Kristen  Stewart can’t act. No wonder her non-Twilight film that was just  released, The Messengers, bombed. Stewart spends thew whole time pining  for Edward while trying to find comfort in the arms of Jacob. This is all well  and good, as that is how it is in the book, from my understanding, but the  emotion that she could be showing during these scenes is just not there, and she  comes off as robotic.
Edward  isn’t really in this film much, but it is my understanding he isn’t  in this book, either, so I can’t fault him for that. However, the scenes he is  in, including the ones where he’s just a vision, are all as if he took some  Ritalin before the cameras started rolling. Nothing wrong with being calm and  all that, but if you’re telling someone who they shouldn’t go do something that  could kill then, there should be a little more emphasis in your delivery. Acting  aside, though, he doesn’t do half bad in the fight scenes in the Volturi throne  room, or what have you. I think we all know they put that scene in there to  attract some guys to the otherwise overly chicked-out chick flick.
This thing might as well have been called Taylor Lautner: The Movie.  Not only is he the primary focus on the film (and book), but almost all  advertising was centered around him and his newly buff bod. As with everyone  else in this flick, he turns in a very robotic performance. I hate to judge him  by these films, but I’m seriously starting to think that this kid can’t act and  folks are just capitalizing on his shirtless scenes.
The Cullens have a drastically reduced part in the film, except for Alice,  who actually has about the same. THe Queileute tribe I wonder about since they  just walk around all day with no shirts on. Granted if I had abs like that, I’d  want to show them off, too, but to walk around all the time with no shirt on?  Seriously? I have two theories behind this. The first is that they do it to  avoid having to get new shirts everytime they change to and from their wolf  forms. The other is that this was for the women to drool over these guys.
With a bigger budget, I expected more from this thing. Comparing the two  films, you would think Twilight had the bigger budget. The wolves  looked slightly better than a SyFy channel movie and the glitter on the vampires  doesn’t look as if they tweaked it at all.
Speaking of keeping things from the first film. All those flashbacks were a  bit much. I like to say that flashbacks are a cheap way of filling time, and  that’s exactly what these seemed to do. Now, some of them do serve a purpose in  that they refresh the audience’s memory, but to keep showing these things the  entire flick is a bit much.
  I don’t know, I guess I had a bit lofty expectations after the impressive  surprise of Twilight, but this thing just didn’t impress me. What makes  it worse is that the trailers do it an injustice in that they are better than  the actual film. The Twilight Saga: New Moon comes off as an overly  dramatic, overhyped, piece of teen drama that is only missing the head  cheerleader dating the captain of the football team and a nerd crushing on one  of them. This is just not a good picture. Sure, some out there will chastise me  for ripping it a new one, but tis is my opinion, and I stick by it. Maybe next  April when I watch the next installment of the franchise, it will be a much  better film, but I’m not expecting so. I believe that Twilight will  prove to be the best of the bunch.
2 1/2 out of 5 stars
http://thankyounetflix.wordpress.com

Thw Twilight Saga: New Moon

I just looked back and realized that it was exactly 1 year ago that I watched and reviewed Twilight, a film that I had no intention of actually enjoying, but somehow did. The Twilight Saga: New Moon, however isn’t os lucky.
Apart from being so overly dramatic and whiny, this film proves that Kristen Stewart can’t act. No wonder her non-Twilight film that was just released, The Messengers, bombed. Stewart spends thew whole time pining for Edward while trying to find comfort in the arms of Jacob. This is all well and good, as that is how it is in the book, from my understanding, but the emotion that she could be showing during these scenes is just not there, and she comes off as robotic.
Edward  isn’t really in this film much, but it is my understanding he isn’t in this book, either, so I can’t fault him for that. However, the scenes he is in, including the ones where he’s just a vision, are all as if he took some Ritalin before the cameras started rolling. Nothing wrong with being calm and all that, but if you’re telling someone who they shouldn’t go do something that could kill then, there should be a little more emphasis in your delivery. Acting aside, though, he doesn’t do half bad in the fight scenes in the Volturi throne room, or what have you. I think we all know they put that scene in there to attract some guys to the otherwise overly chicked-out chick flick.
This thing might as well have been called Taylor Lautner: The Movie. Not only is he the primary focus on the film (and book), but almost all advertising was centered around him and his newly buff bod. As with everyone else in this flick, he turns in a very robotic performance. I hate to judge him by these films, but I’m seriously starting to think that this kid can’t act and folks are just capitalizing on his shirtless scenes.
The Cullens have a drastically reduced part in the film, except for Alice, who actually has about the same. THe Queileute tribe I wonder about since they just walk around all day with no shirts on. Granted if I had abs like that, I’d want to show them off, too, but to walk around all the time with no shirt on? Seriously? I have two theories behind this. The first is that they do it to avoid having to get new shirts everytime they change to and from their wolf forms. The other is that this was for the women to drool over these guys.
With a bigger budget, I expected more from this thing. Comparing the two films, you would think Twilight had the bigger budget. The wolves looked slightly better than a SyFy channel movie and the glitter on the vampires doesn’t look as if they tweaked it at all.
Speaking of keeping things from the first film. All those flashbacks were a bit much. I like to say that flashbacks are a cheap way of filling time, and that’s exactly what these seemed to do. Now, some of them do serve a purpose in that they refresh the audience’s memory, but to keep showing these things the entire flick is a bit much.
  I don’t know, I guess I had a bit lofty expectations after the impressive surprise of Twilight, but this thing just didn’t impress me. What makes it worse is that the trailers do it an injustice in that they are better than the actual film. The Twilight Saga: New Moon comes off as an overly dramatic, overhyped, piece of teen drama that is only missing the head cheerleader dating the captain of the football team and a nerd crushing on one of them. This is just not a good picture. Sure, some out there will chastise me for ripping it a new one, but tis is my opinion, and I stick by it. Maybe next April when I watch the next installment of the franchise, it will be a much better film, but I’m not expecting so. I believe that Twilight will prove to be the best of the bunch.

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A Laura Mulvey Reading

Like millions of other people, I flocked a screening of New Moon in its first week of release. I knew that I wouldn't enjoy it after what the first movie offered me, so saying that I did not enjoy it is like saying I went to a funeral and found it sad. Despite this, I still chose to be a sheep and follow along with the crowd to help break box office records.

The only way to experience this movie (in my humble opinion) is in an audience filled with swooning girls, just to really soak up the atmosphere that the film projects. That was my intention, and luckily I succeed by going to a screening early enough after the films release. I could tick the audible sighs and swooning sounds box on my expectations list, and soon to follow was the obligatory chest shots.

Without going into boring synopsis of the film, which would be as simple as a bus full of Miss America contestants, I can put forth a much easier description. Perhaps only students of film, scholars, academics and cultural critics and theorists will understand it, but regardless, here's my synopsis: Laura Mulvey, eat your heart out.

Mulvey's seminal theory (Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema) discussed the idea of the triple male gaze in the mid 1970s. This triple male gaze is the projection of a woman through a male characters eyes, put forth by a male author (director/writer) for a male audience. In New Moon we see this turned around. It is not the female that is the object of desire anymore, and instead it is the men who are subjected to the "to-be-looked-at-ness" aspect of Mulvey's claims. Her theories have been subverted, and not for the first time (let us not forget Casino Royale with Daniel Craig coming out of the water, like an Adonis, a la Ursula Andress style.)

As we see this idea the idea of the triple maze gaze being turned on its head as at least a double female gaze now, if not even triple with Stephenie Meyer's book, the character of Bella and her male contemporaries (or should I say pieces of meat/eye candy.) But despite this, the Bella is still a dull girl who relies on the comfort of vampires and werewolves to stay amused and happy.

Consensus among female teenage (or tweenage) viewers finds the film "hot" and "steamy". Edward is "dreamy", Jacob is "ripped, but 12" and there is an instant divide between Team Edward and Team Jacob (one that could result in heads being ripped off and a ritualistic sacrifice in the name of the Twilight.)

Perhaps it's because I've been watching too much True Blood, but the Twilight films leave something to be desired for me. I require that big bite that Twilight and New Moon lack in their "nothing much happens" plotlines. I don't consider myself an action chasing adrenaline junkie, but in I needed some proverbial action and I needed it desperately. Luckily New Moon offered me more than the previous instalment, but I was still not as satisfied as the tweens and "twi-hards", who seem to be feeding on some kind of unexplainable and unquenchable supernatural level.