Allan Quatermain and the Temple of SkullsAllan Quatermain inspired Indiana Jones. But Indy would kick /</gispan style="font-style: italic;"/>/githis</span> Allan’s butt. “Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls” was a real pain to sit through, even for me who am a hardened B-film fan.
So, the story is in the title really. Lady Anna and some other dude hire Allan to lead them to the legendary Temple of Skulls where her brother had been lost on and earlier expedition. They are also chased by some bad dude, who is really hilarious and makes funny faces when he speaks.
The first and main problem I found with this film is the landscape(s). OK, it says in the end credits it was filmed on location in South Africa. But, this was supposed to be an adventure film, so you’d expect they’d show the dangerous Africa, you know – deserts, sand, boiling sun, no water, wild animals and such. Instead, you get to see meadows and forests and trees. I really don’t get how strolling down a grassy meadow is considered an adventure. And when I say strolling I mean exactly that. Allan must find the supposedly legendary Temple of Skulls. You’d expect it is somewhere well hidden, considering the fact that no one has set foot in it in ages. But it isn’t. It’s right there between some hills, beside the giant statue carved in the rocks. And apparently, it’s just a few days walk from Allan’s home. Oh, the “bad savage tribes” also live in the vicinity. Another thing – I’m not sure when is this film supposed to take place, but since they mention Nazis, I suppose it’s the 1930-1940's. And I’m pretty sure that in those days Coca-Cola didn’t have adverts in some African villages in the middle of nowhere, but then again – I’m no historian, so I may be wrong.
The only bright spot in the cast is Sean Cameron Michael as Allan. The rest are more than forgettable. And the character of Allan, even this cheap B-version, is interesting enough to make a good film, but they really screwed it. The cover would make you think this film is full of chases and action. It’s not. It’s full of walking through plains and meadows, and an occasional lame shootout.
I really liked the musical piece that played during the opening credits. Unfortunately, it appeared only there (and maybe in the end credits I didn't watch).
In the end, all I can say is "Dear me, dear me…".
Rating: 3/10
- review by Ventilation Shaft
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