Jack Says

I could never quite figure out what exactly makes a film noir. I don’t  really understand the definition of the genre (is it a genre at all?).  Just like I can’t tell why a film is cult. It just is. But I came to  know, through experience, that all the films dubbed as noir were always  crime stories, full of narratives and basically being stylish all  around. So based on that I could say, “Yeah, I like noir”. Plus, the  cover screamed “Sin City”, especially with the title letter font. Enough  reasons for me to give it a look.

Jack wakes up covered in blood  in a public toilet with the governor’s body beside him. He doesn’t know  anything about himself except his name, and the only clue he’s got is a  photo of a pair of tits. The pursuit of their owner leads him to Paris,  the city of anal... errr, I mean love.

Unfortunately, “Jack  Says” is not noir. It’s an attempt at noir, and an unsuccessful one,  really. The film doesn’t have one redeeming trait. OK, that’s a lie. The  theme playing through the end credits roll is a good albeit too short  post-rock composition. Other than that, the whole flick’s average or  below average.

It is very important for a noir to have a strong  leading character. The perfect prototype of such a character for me is  Hartigan in “Sin City”, marvelously played by Bruce Willis. Now, Simon  Phillips (who’s also one of the directors) is in my opinion completely  miscast. He’s just too… ordinary. He wasn’t convincing the least, and  when he tried to be – this leads us to the second major flaw – it was  plain overacting. It felt forced, fake and unnatural. It’s not just  Jack, it goes for all the characters – especially Garvey, an old lezbo  crime boss hag.

And while the story in general sounds alright,  when it starts to unfold it gets more and more absurd and lame, to the  point of becoming downright laughable. Too bad, because it had  potential.

Nice try, but better luck next time.

EDIT: The  man behind the end credits theme (titled /</gispan style="font-style: italic;"/>/giRemote</span>) is JOHN J. HARVEY. And he gives his music for  free downloads, including lossless FLAC format. Any post-rock or  instrumental music fan must check it out because it's totally awesome!

http://www.johnharveymusic.com/John_Harvey_Music/Home.html

Rating: 4/10

- review by Ventilation Shaft