Alone in the Dark

Trailer for the game. Looks so cool, doesn't it?! Lies.

And that's not the only reason why the game is less than scary. First off, most of the monsters are directly in front of you, and they wander around like they're looking for their lost car keys. The AI is terrible; in fact, most of the zombies will barely even look at you unless you walk right in front of them. Then again, this might have been a reasonable addition to the game, since you'll use up most of the sparse ammo you find shooting at nothing, either thinking that you have to SHOOT OPEN DOORS or just because of the lousy control of the Wiimote.

Speaking of lousy controls, I just want to take a look at a few of the CLUSTERFUCKS that the game expects you to overcome. For one thing, getting into your inventory is actually harder than any other gameplay mechanic. I don't know how many times I wanted to open my inventory (which requires the player to take both remotes, put them together, and then rotate them in an "opening-a-bag" motion), only to find that my character puts his gun away, or the flashlight, or both, or just the flashlight, or takes the gun back out again, or puts it away again, or takes the flashlight out again... You get my drift. Too many times, I was stuck with my lighter in my hand, trying to get my gun out and then just saying, "Screw it" to run pell-mell into a horde of zombies. Then, we get to driving. The control setup is simply atrocious, and is probably one of the best examples of, "Just because you have the technology, it does not mean you should actually DO it." I was stuck in the parking garage for an hour just trying to figure out how to actually drive the car around without smashing into barricades.

As for running and jumping, it's a chore just to run straight, and although you can choose between 3rd or 1st person cameras, the game stresses that this "choice" is only limited - at some points, you must be in 1st person. Although the 1st person viewpoint does get the player more "into" the game (if you really can get into this game), looking around is tedious, and I think that the 3rd person is better suited for this game, especially on the Wii. Jumping should just have been totally erased from the game's code, as there's no real easy way to do it. You'll find yourself dying because the character does not grab onto ropes at the right time, or maybe you just overshot the other rope because you can't see anything. Something is not right with a game when basic skills cannot be completed, and jumping requires trial and error. At least the game saves your progress after each mini-sequence; I guess the makers felt it was needed because everything is so hit-or-miss that you'd be starting the whole game over again 5 times.

There are some really cool ideas that the game presents, though, including applying your own medical care. In the beginning, you are hurt in the abdomen and have to find a medical supply in a run-down building. Not really sure how the 911 operator knew that the first aid kit was there, but I went with it. Once you grab the equipment, you have to find the wound on your body and patch it up. I felt like it was a really cool idea, only it's a really small part of the game and doesn't do much to amp up the action.

There's also some bat-like things that come out of the sky and snatch you up in their talons, but it's really annoying when you can't kill them and just have to run for your life, trying to find any buildings to get into that you can't see. There's not much point in exploration, other than finding ammo conveniently placed in sewers and such. Most of the time, you can't see where the items are, so you just have to stumble upon them. Most of the time, I just ran around pressing A all the time, randomly picking things up that I figured I'd need.

It's this willy-nilly gameplay, running around blindly, that makes the game feel unfinished and repetitive. I have to admit that some of the sequences were rather cool, like the bats picking up your car, but then again, the action was implemented so poorly that I had to repeat it a couple of times to even understand what I was supposed to be doing. In the end, after understanding that the game was not going to lighten up and that I could not get used to the shitty control scheme, I cursed and flipped a few birds and put the game back on the shelf. I gave it a lot of tries, I really did, and I'm a completionist and not one to quit on a game, but this... this is a game from Hell. Honestly. If you want a completely frustrating and unrewarding experience, and want a game to make you feel retarded, play this game. Otherwise, stay well, well away from the Wii version, at least.

Thanks go out to Iloz Zoc